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Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie charts below show the comparison of different kinds of energy production of France in two years.

The pie charts below show the comparison of different kinds of energy production of France in two years.
#show #comparison #kinds #energy #production #france #two #years
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The two pie charts illustrate the proportion of several
category
Change to a plural noun
categories
show examples
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 including gas, coal,
petrol
Use synonyms
, nuclear and others, which were produced in French
during
Change preposition
between
show examples
 1995 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, coal and gas remained the top two most popular sources of power produced
whereas
Linking Words
 nuclear and other
energy
Use synonyms
 accounted for the lowest percentage of
energy
Use synonyms
 produced in France.
Petrol
Use synonyms
 was the only sort of
energy
Use synonyms
 that decreased during the 10-year period Coal was the most popular type of
energy
Use synonyms
 in France, which accounted for approximately 29.8%
in
Change preposition
of in
show examples
 1995 and increased slightly throughout the years, reaching about 31% of total
energy
Use synonyms
 production in 2005. The same trend applied to the percentage of gas produced as it increased
almost
Change preposition
by almost
show examples
 0.6%, rising from 29.63%
during
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1995 to slightly over 30.3% in 2005. These two types of
energy
Use synonyms
 accounted for roughly 60% of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
 production of France. During 1995, the
third
Linking Words
 most popular type of
energy
Use synonyms
 was
petrol
Use synonyms
, which took up about 29.3% of the whole production.
However
Linking Words
, throughout 10 years,
petrol
Use synonyms
 was the only type of
energy
Use synonyms
 that was produced less as its proportion dropped by 10% (19.55%) in 2005.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there were significant increases in the rates of nuclear
energy
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 other types as there was a significant growth of 4%, marking the percentage of these sources of
energy
Use synonyms
 at 10.1% and 9.1% respectively.
Submitted by phunglamphuong on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, petrol with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Nuclear energy
  • Renewable energy
  • Non-renewable energy
  • Technological advancements
  • Government policy
  • Environmental policies
  • Investment in renewable technologies
  • Traditional energy sources
  • Coal usage
  • Natural gas
  • Environmental regulations
  • Energy consumption
  • Energy production levels
  • Proportion
  • Broader trends
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