art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world, however, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. why do you think that is? what could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts

#art #part #cultures #world #people #focus #science #technology #business #interest #arts

Art

has

an intangible benefits

Correct the article-noun agreement

intangible benefits

an intangible benefit

show examples

and depicts traditional

scence

Correct your spelling

science

scene

that has

crucial

Add an article

a crucial

show examples

role to play in all cultures globally.

Nevertheless

, due to

advancement

Fix the agreement mistake

advancements

show examples

in technology, many

people

are diverted their focal point from

art

to science, technology and business.

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology has become ubiquitous and entrenched in society. The reason behind

this

could be that

people

are immensely inclined towards facts and figures than artistry. and, fiction word which recounts.

Moreover

, they need instant amusements, which can be easily

accured

Correct your spelling

acquired

by surfing on

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

unlike olden days public used to visit opera or

art

gallery

Fix the agreement mistake

galleries

show examples

for viewing performing and visual arts.

last

but not

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

least

people

are becoming more and more philistines, who are mainly focused on business and income rather than recreations. because of all these,

people

are declined from

conventional

Add an article

the conventional

show examples

form

Fix the agreement mistake

forms

show examples

of arts and

entertainments

Fix the agreement mistake

entertainment

show examples

. There are many ways, by which we can drive back

people

attention to the works of

art

Firstly

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

need to provide financial aid and rewards to the artisans, which could intrigues

youngters

Correct your spelling

youngsters

and could

also

presuade

Correct your spelling

persuade

them in

taking

Correct your spelling

making

show examples

art

Correct your spelling

part

show examples

as a serious career option.

secondly

, promoting

art

education in schools at

the

Correct article usage

show examples

early age would help

childern

Correct your spelling

children

to fervently engage themselves in

percieving

Correct your spelling

perceiving

art

Subsequently

Add a comma

,Subsequently

show examples

art

gets back its imperial importance in the world. In a

nut shell

Correct your spelling

nutshell

show examples

, as in the technologically advanced world, more

people

are captivated by forefront inventions. Artistry has to overcome the recent trend and once again starts to appeal

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

audience effectively.

Submitted by aishwaryamd03 on Sun Jul 04 2021

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

247 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Technological advancement
Economic growth
STEM subjects
Job security
Financial success
Pragmatic
Utilitarian pursuits
Art education
Inclusive
Engaging
Contemporary society
Social issues
Environmental themes
Digital platforms
Virtual museums
Interactive art

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art is considered an essential part of all cultures throughout the world, however, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology and business. why do you think that is? what could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In the future it may be necessary for us to live on other planets. For this reason, some people believe that we should spend money now researching planets that could be a possible home, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In modern times, young adults are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

The best way to improve health is to exercise daily. To what extent do you agree?

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?