Some people think that job satisfaction is more important then job security while others think that people cannot expect to enjoy a job and having a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In
competitive
Correct article usage
a competitive
show examples
job
market, some
job
seekers believe that it is crucial to obtain permanent positions to secure their future while others argue that finding meaningful careers with great
satisfaction
is more important to keep
people
keep their occupations longer. In my view, I agree that
job
satisfaction
is an essential element as
people
often
persue
Correct your spelling
pursue
a long-term
career
when they feel happy with their daily work. I shall put forth my opinions in the following paragraph to demonstrate my point. Finding
full-time
Correct article usage
a full-time
show examples
permanent
job
offer
Fix the agreement mistake
offers
show examples
are common
goals
Fix the agreement mistake
goal
show examples
of many young graduates.
However
, in some Asian countries, parents often advise their children to follow full-time permanent jobs with
stable
Add an article
a stable
show examples
income
Fix the agreement mistake
incomes
show examples
to have a bright future.
As a result
, many
job
seekers tend to seek
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
steady positions rather than challenging or dynamic
career
path
Fix the agreement mistake
paths
show examples
.
For example
, many fresh graduates in Vietnam prefer to apply to
government
Add an article
a government
show examples
agency
Fix the agreement mistake
agencies
show examples
where they can obtain
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
long-term employment
instead
of choosing their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
fields.
In contrast
, occupation
satisfaction
is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a crucial factor that helps employees devote the rest of their life to
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
chosen
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
. In fact,
people
can only stay motivated when they can find meaning or joyful of from their works.
Additionally
,
people
may become more creative and achieve greater achievements or break-through in their fields when they can do the work they enjoy.
Hence
,
this
explains why there are many successful workers who are willing to give up
6-figure
Add an article
a 6-figure
show examples
salary
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salaries
show examples
from international organizations to
persue
Correct your spelling
pursue
their dreams. To sum up,
job
satisfaction
is important in keeping
people
staying longer with their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
Submitted by npanhtuan09 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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