Some people are concerned that children spend too much time on computers - playing games, chatting and watch video. But all this time is actually good preparation for children, who will have to spend many hours working on computers throughout their education and working lives.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, people are starting using computers especially teenagers
as well as
Add the comma(s)
, as well as childrens and some people,
show examples
Correct your spelling
children
children's
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
and some people claim that
this
Linking Words
is
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
expirience
Correct your spelling
experience
for children to spend their
time
Use synonyms
, improve their skills for future work, while others think that
this
Linking Words
is bad for children cause of
this
Linking Words
deterioration of
vision
Use synonyms
and dependence. In
thise
Correct your spelling
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
I will discuss both views and give examples. On the one hand, kids become
dependence
Replace the word
dependent
show examples
on games and
this
Linking Words
is
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
point of issue. What
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
mean by
this
Linking Words
is that they start to spend much
time
Use synonyms
on
computer
Use synonyms
and
vision
Use synonyms
will begin to deteriorate,
also
Linking Words
they will have health problems.
For example
Linking Words
,
IItalian
Correct your spelling
Italian
scince
Correct your spelling
science
since
conducted an investigation between country boy and city, there was
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
difference in
vision
Use synonyms
the country boy saw 9 of 10
wwhile
Correct your spelling
while
city boy saw 6 of 10. For
these
Change the determiner
this reason
these reasons
show examples
reason
Add a comma
,reason
show examples
we
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
limit the
time
Use synonyms
of playing or using
Use synonyms
Add an article
a computer
the computer
show examples
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
for kids.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if we limit the
time
Use synonyms
of using
Use synonyms
computer
Add an article
a computer
the computer
show examples
and will wear glasses for defending weaning from the
computer
Use synonyms
it will be awesome for children
expirience
Correct your spelling
experience
.
In other words
Linking Words
, they may already be adapted and will be more effective than
begginers
Correct your spelling
beginners
. For
intance
Correct your spelling
instance
, all the jobs with
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
reputation require
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work experience and
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
level of skills
companys
Correct your spelling
companies
such
Linking Words
as google Telegram and Facebook
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
requre
Correct your spelling
require
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
experience and
some
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
diploma. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
strongly believe that people can combine both of these sides
limit
Fix the infinitive
to limit
show examples
the
time
Use synonyms
of spending
time
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
defend
vision
Use synonyms
and take some
expirience
Correct your spelling
experience
.
Submitted by nurlan32 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: