Some people argue that job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others believe a permanent job is more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Global
Add an article
The global

The noun phrase Global economy seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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economy has changed in the past two years. Many
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

suffered from laid-off after
COVID-19
Correct article usage
the COVID-19

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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pandemic. Plenty of jobs were cut off owing to the outbreak of
virus
Add an article
the virus

The noun phrase virus seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

situation
trigged
Correct your spelling
triggered

The word trigged doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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employees to think of the importance between
job
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

security and satisfaction. In my opinion , I choose to work in a solid company
instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

.
First
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of all, a
job
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with satisfaction usually comes up with enjoyment. The harder you work, the more feeling of
success
Replace the word
successful

The word success doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have. It is
nature
Replace the word
natural

The word nature doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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for someone to enjoy
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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happy atmosphere whenever you have finished their tasks.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

sense of belonging keep on encouraging them to achieve more.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they keen on working harder to achieve more joy.
Nevertheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, too
much
Change the quantifier
many

It appears that the quantifier much does not fit with the countable noun duties. Consider changing the quantifier or the noun.

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duties assigned to them may lead to chances of danger. The more they are able to do, the more responsibility they bear. They put themselves at risk if they failed to finish essential missions.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a permanent
job
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

gives out stability indicated that
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are unnecessary to worry about falling into unemployment. The provision of cash flow strength stemmed from stable salary contributes to the financial status.
Nonetheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
relatively
Correct article usage
a relatively

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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safe
job
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

means
lack
Correct article usage
a lack

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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of opportunity to establish
ability
Add an article
the ability

The noun phrase ability seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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oneself.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

may cause
bad
Correct article usage
a bad

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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influence
to
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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career
Correct article usage
the career

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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pathway.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will easily get lost in their career and
therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

laziness may appear because of deficiency of impact during working
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours

It seems that hour may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. In conclusion, a
job
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

you are satisfied with provides you enjoyment and happiness.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is relatively unsafe in
working
Correct article usage
a working

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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environment compared with
secure
Add an article
a secure

The noun phrase secure job seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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job
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
On
Change preposition
In

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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contrast
Add an article
the contrast

The noun phrase contrast seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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,
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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healthy financial condition will
be benefit
Change the verb form
be benefited
be benefiting

It appears that the form of the verb benefit does not work with be in this sentence.

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from a lifelong
job
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

but you will be getting lazy if there
is
Change the verb form
are

The singular verb form is does not seem to agree with the plural subject insufficient challenges. Consider changing the verb form.

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insufficient challenges.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if I must choose between
job
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

satisfaction and financial security, I will definitely opt for the
later
Correct your spelling
latter

The word later doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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one.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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