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Band 4

Big salary is more important than job satisfaction. To what extent you agree or disagree?

#salary #job #satisfaction
Nowadays, society
treat
Change the verb form
treats
show examples
 and respect
people
 based on the social status and there is a direct interconnection between the status and money individuals earning. Personally, I give more attention to personal life and I consider employment primarily to earn money to support the personal requirements. In my opinion, higher pay provides numerous benefits compared to employee
satisfaction
. In the following essay, I will explain why I proved higher weightage to high pay
instead
 of
job
 pleasure. A higher wage delivers humongous benefits and one of the crucial
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
show examples
 is the
high class
Add a hyphen
high-class
show examples
 living standard and as an end
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 it will help to increase the reputation.
People
 who earn or save more can build their cosy dream house effortlessly in the heart of the city centre or an iconic location but
people
 who opt for
job
satisfaction
 may have to struggle to own a home because many of them are not earning enough to finish the construction on time or many of them have to stay in a rental apartment for a longer period. Some of my friends
travel
Correct pronoun usage
who travel
show examples
 abroad for work is an ultimate example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 case because many of them are not happy with the work but they are able to complete their home construction quickly and efficiently.
In addition
 to the quality
lifestyle
Add a comma
,lifestyle
show examples
 good revenue will help to achieve the
dreams
. Many
people
’s
dreams
 are outside employment and they utilize employment and salary to catch their
dreams
 like
own
Change the verb form
owning
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 a costly car or a tour around the world.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of the
people
 earning more can easily procure an expensive car or travel without financial hazards but at the same
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
people
 who are not earning enough may struggle to accomplish their
dreams
. There are many advantages for
job
satisfaction
 but the
overwhelm
Change the form of the verb
overwhelming
show examples
 benefits of
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 salary will easily overtake these advantages especially in long run. Based on these arguments I strongly suggest
to choose
Change the verb form
choosing
show examples
 better pay rather than
job
satisfaction
.
Submitted by dileepjosed on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
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