IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Big salary is more important than job satisfaction. To what extent you agree or disagree?

#salary #job #satisfaction
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Nowadays, society
treat
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treats
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 and respect
people
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 based on the social status and there is a direct interconnection between the status and money individuals earning. Personally, I give more attention to personal life and I consider employment primarily to earn money to support the personal requirements. In my opinion, higher pay provides numerous benefits compared to employee
satisfaction
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. In the following essay, I will explain why I proved higher weightage to high pay
instead
Linking Words
 of
job
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 pleasure. A higher wage delivers humongous benefits and one of the crucial
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
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 is the
high class
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high-class
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 living standard and as an end
result
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,result
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 it will help to increase the reputation.
People
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 who earn or save more can build their cosy dream house effortlessly in the heart of the city centre or an iconic location but
people
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 who opt for
job
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satisfaction
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 may have to struggle to own a home because many of them are not earning enough to finish the construction on time or many of them have to stay in a rental apartment for a longer period. Some of my friends
travel
Correct pronoun usage
who travel
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 abroad for work is an ultimate example
for
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of
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this
Linking Words
 case because many of them are not happy with the work but they are able to complete their home construction quickly and efficiently.
In addition
Linking Words
 to the quality
lifestyle
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,lifestyle
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 good revenue will help to achieve the
dreams
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. Many
people
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’s
dreams
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 are outside employment and they utilize employment and salary to catch their
dreams
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 like
own
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owning
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 a costly car or a tour around the world.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
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 of the
people
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 earning more can easily procure an expensive car or travel without financial hazards but at the same
time
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,time
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people
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 who are not earning enough may struggle to accomplish their
dreams
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. There are many advantages for
job
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satisfaction
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 but the
overwhelm
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overwhelming
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 benefits of
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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 salary will easily overtake these advantages especially in long run. Based on these arguments I strongly suggest
to choose
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choosing
show examples
 better pay rather than
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by dileepjosed on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
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