IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Traffic and accommodation problems are increasing and the government should encourage businesses to move from cities to rural areas. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#traffic #accommodation #government #businesses #move #cities #areas
With the changing scenario and diverse needs of society, the problem of traffic congestion and living space has been increased at rocket speed. In order to curb
this
 situation government should take initiative to move businesses from big
cities
 to the countrysides.
However
, the pros of
this
 phenomenon have overweight its cons which I will discuss in subsequent paragraphs. In commence with its advantages,
this
 trend would definitely help the masses of rural
areas
 to get better job opportunities in their native palace. They do not need to migrate to big
cities
 for searching better future,
consequently
Add a comma
,consequently
show examples
 traffic and accommodation problems in metro
cities
 should be restrained to great extent.
Moreover
, if more industries are developed in
areas
 other than
cities
 it would results in the utilisation of natural resources in a better way.
For instance
, in a recent report by The tribune magazine that industrial area developed in outer parts of Delhi not only help the people to get a job but
also
 reduce the level of pollution in Delhi.
However
, it may arise problems for organisations as cost of administration cost has been drastically increased while setting business in rural
areas
 because they need to set their offices both in
cities
 and rural
areas
 in order to complete demands of customers.
Furthermore
, rise transportation costs as raw materials send to units and finish product transfer to warehouses
also
 required more personnel for handling
this
 process. To conclude, the government should be setting business units in rural parts of countries so that
cities
 are free from huge traffic and accommodation problems.
Submitted by tyrannodrake on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: