IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it?

#countries #graduates #employment #factors #situation
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In today's high-tech
world
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, people
is
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are
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 smart enough to know
importance
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the importance
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 of
an
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apply
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education. In regards to
it
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,it
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 hard fact is that there are several people who are highly educated, with full of skills, well enough
competant
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competent
,
however
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 without a
job
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 for
longer
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a longer
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 time. In accordance
to
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with
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this
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, as per my view, there are multiple aspects that might have
resulted
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inresulted
fromresulted
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unemployment
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 situation. Before starting with the causes, would like to highlight that people
is
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are
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 well aware that without having a good
edcuation
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education
, it will be very challenging to stand against others in
this
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competative
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competitive
world
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. By keeping that into consideration, nowadays majority public, either male or female pursue
high
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a high
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 level of education.
Additionally
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, if required they go overseas and obtain higher degrees.
To begin
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 with the causes,
First
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 and foremost, high level of competition.
For example
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, behind one
job
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 application only for
single
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a single
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 position, there could be more than 100 applicants and out of those you need to be best to grab that
job
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 offer.
Furthermore
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, if you are unable to win
this
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 race that could be one of
reasons
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the reasons
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 for not getting a
job
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.
Secondly
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, many times it happens that
candidate
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candidates
show examples
do
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does
show examples
 not come across their desire
job
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, wherein some
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 might be underskilled or out of interest for them.
Correct your spelling
Therefore
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Therefor
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Therefore
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 they do not wish to go for some cases.
Additionally
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, in today's digital
world
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, there are high technologies
who
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that
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 have replaced humans with Robots/ or machines, so
that is
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 another significant reason
of
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for
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unemployment
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.
Subsequently
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, due to poor market
condition
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conditions
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, many companies retrench their employees
as a result
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into
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of
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an
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apply
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unemployment
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.
Moreover
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,
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world
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the world
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 is facing
tough
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a tough
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 time
since
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for
show examples
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last
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the last
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 two decades. Nowadays "Recession and Retrench" word is very common,
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is
also
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crucial
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a crucial
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 element of not having a
job
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.
Last
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 but not least,
company
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the company
a company
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 needs specific/ special talents, they want to hire best, so that could be
addition
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an addition
the addition
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in
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to
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this
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 topic. Every problem has a solution. We can decrease
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unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
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 rate effectively, by enhancing or upgrading ourselves with
value added
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value-added
show examples
 courses or specialized certifications. I strongly believe that
this
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 is one of
best
Correct article usage
the best
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 ways to grab a good
job
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 as per your desire. By
this
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mean
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means
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,
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the employee
an employee
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employee
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employees
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 can perform up to the mark at
work place
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workplace
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 and secure their
job
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 with rewards. Apart from that
goverment
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government
 should come up with
fresh
Correct article usage
a fresh
show examples
 graduate employment programme. Wherein, they should offer a
job
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 by following proper selection criteria.
Besides
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that
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,that
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 there are several other ways to increase
an
Correct article usage
the
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 employment rate. In summary, would like to mention that at end of the day, it's individual's accountability to upgrade themselves and have good grasping in
corporate
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the corporate
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world
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. To conclude, along with hard work, smart work
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equally
is equally
iequally
Add a missing verb
is iequally
show examples
 important.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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