In many countries today there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it?

In today's high-tech
world
, people
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
smart enough to know
importance
Add an article
the importance
show examples
of
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
education. In regards to
it
Add a comma
,it
show examples
hard fact is that there are several people who are highly educated, with full of skills, well enough
competant
Correct your spelling
competent
,
however
without a
job
for
longer
Add an article
a longer
show examples
time. In accordance
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
, as per my view, there are multiple aspects that might have
resulted
Add the preposition
inresulted
fromresulted
show examples
unemployment
situation. Before starting with the causes, would like to highlight that people
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
well aware that without having a good
edcuation
Correct your spelling
education
, it will be very challenging to stand against others in
this
competative
Correct your spelling
competitive
world
. By keeping that into consideration, nowadays majority public, either male or female pursue
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
level of education.
Additionally
, if required they go overseas and obtain higher degrees.
To begin
with the causes,
First
and foremost, high level of competition.
For example
, behind one
job
application only for
single
Add an article
a single
show examples
position, there could be more than 100 applicants and out of those you need to be best to grab that
job
offer.
Furthermore
, if you are unable to win
this
race that could be one of
reasons
Add an article
the reasons
show examples
for not getting a
job
.
Secondly
, many times it happens that
candidate
Fix the agreement mistake
candidates
show examples
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not come across their desire
job
, wherein some
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
might be underskilled or out of interest for them.
Correct your spelling
Therefore
show examples
Therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
show examples
they do not wish to go for some cases.
Additionally
, in today's digital
world
, there are high technologies
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
have replaced humans with Robots/ or machines, so
that is
another significant reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
unemployment
.
Subsequently
, due to poor market
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
, many companies retrench their employees
as a result
into
Change preposition
of
show examples
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
unemployment
.
Moreover
,
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
is facing
tough
Add an article
a tough
show examples
time
since
Change preposition
for
show examples
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
two decades. Nowadays "Recession and Retrench" word is very common,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is
also
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
show examples
element of not having a
job
.
Last
but not least,
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
needs specific/ special talents, they want to hire best, so that could be
addition
Add an article
an addition
the addition
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
topic. Every problem has a solution. We can decrease
unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
show examples
rate effectively, by enhancing or upgrading ourselves with
value added
Add a hyphen
value-added
show examples
courses or specialized certifications. I strongly believe that
this
is one of
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
ways to grab a good
job
as per your desire. By
this
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
show examples
,
Add an article
the employee
an employee
show examples
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
can perform up to the mark at
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
and secure their
job
with rewards. Apart from that
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
should come up with
fresh
Correct article usage
a fresh
show examples
graduate employment programme. Wherein, they should offer a
job
by following proper selection criteria.
Besides
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
there are several other ways to increase
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
employment rate. In summary, would like to mention that at end of the day, it's individual's accountability to upgrade themselves and have good grasping in
corporate
Add an article
the corporate
show examples
world
. To conclude, along with hard work, smart work
Correct your spelling
equally
is equally
iequally
Add a missing verb
is iequally
show examples
important.
Submitted by Dakan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: