People are consuming more and more sugar-based drinks. Why? What can be done to reduce sugary drink consumption?

#people #drinks #drink #consumption

Sugary

drinks

are

addicted

Replace the word

addictive

show examples

for many

people

and they are not capable to stop drinking

that

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

over and over. In

this

essay, I will discuss causes

people

can be addicted to soft

drinks

and

solution

Fix the agreement mistake

solutions

show examples

people

decrease

consumption

of those

beverages

. Chief among the causes of

this

problem is the modern lifestyle.

Beverage

Fix the agreement mistake

Beverages

show examples

with added sugar

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

soda, cola, and energy

drinks

, are very tempting for

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation. Especially

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

children and

adolescent

Fix the agreement mistake

adolescents

show examples

are easily attracted because all soft

drinks

ads are everywhere, easy to find in every

convention

Replace the word

convenience

show examples

store and the flavour of

beverages

are various and sweet.

However

, they do not conceive enough about its effects. The risk of type 2 diabetes, heart disease, and other chronic diseases are

further

instance

Fix the agreement mistake

instances

show examples

if we consuming more those

beverages

. In order to reduce the

consumption

of soft

drinks

, I believe we must

first

address its root causes. Perhaps the most effective method of doing

this

would be

start

Fix the infinitive

to start

show examples

with gaining awareness ourselves. Admittedly, we could not afford to

limited

Change the verb

limit

show examples

the distribution of cola,

however

, we can increase the

consumption

those

Change preposition

of those

show examples

beverages

with replace them with

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

juice or limited the

consumption

the

Change preposition

of the

show examples

drinks

only

Change preposition

to only

show examples

Correct your spelling

once

show examples

one

Correct your spelling

once

show examples

a month or even less. On

further

measure would be to promote

healthier

Add an article

a healthier

show examples

lifestyle in ads and encourage our relatives for more aware of healthiness. In reality,

this

problem is unlikely to be resolved in short term.

Nevertheless

, we can keep going to have

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

body and I believe most

people

will conceive about healthiness sooner.

Submitted by firdarasyi96 on Thu Aug 12 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
the bar chrt below shows the number of research students studying deifferent subject in 2005
The bar chart describes the amount of research students studying variety of subjects in 2005 based on gender.
4
band
Nuclear power is a necessary evil. Despite the potential human and environmental consequences of radioactive fallout, nuclear energy is a genuine alternative to non-renewable energy sources like oil and coal, which are quickly running out. In short, the benefits of nuclear far outweigh the risks of using it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The using of nuclear power is becoming debatable. While some think it is dangerous , others find it advantageous. This essay will discuss why I agree the upsides of nuclear far outweigh the risks of using it.
4
band
Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damages does plastic do to the environment? what can be done by the government and individuals to solve this problem?
In the modern era, The environment is going to badly. Because Nowadays, plastic using is increasing. That is one of the reason for changing the environment in badly. These are effected every people, animals, everything. The following paragraph will discuss with this statement.
5.5
band
Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in childern. While other people think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both side an give your opinion
Nowadays, a large number of children are overweight or in the worst case, obese. Some people believe that this is a government responsibility while others argue that it is their parents' fault.
5
band
In some countries, private cars are now banned from certain city centers. What are the advantages of such a system and do you feel that this is something that most cities should adopt?
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is environmental pollution and climate change. It affects to various areas of our life. Cars have a huge impact to this problem, since they’re one of the most convenient types of vehicles and it’s difficult to imagine our life without them. However, there is another problematic side of using them, it’s the level of pollution they make.

People are consuming more and more sugar-based drinks. Why? What can be done to reduce sugary drink consumption?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

the bar chrt below shows the number of research students studying deifferent subject in 2005

Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damages does plastic do to the environment? what can be done by the government and individuals to solve this problem?

Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in obesity in childern. While other people think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both side an give your opinion

In some countries, private cars are now banned from certain city centers. What are the advantages of such a system and do you feel that this is something that most cities should adopt?