IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

the national distribution of water and the average domestic water usage in the country of Astoria.summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The
given
Verb problem
apply
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pie chart below gives us
the
Correct article usage
apply
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details about the national distribution and average domestic
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 in the country of Astoria.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can see that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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water
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
 for domestic
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
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 is
little
Correct article usage
a little
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 more than the half
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
total
Correct article usage
the total
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 storage.
Distribution
Correct article usage
The distribution
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 of
water
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
 in Astoria is covered by five different parts.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
These
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 are domestic,commercial,leakage,unmetered and institutions.
out
Capitalize word
Out
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 of which, the majority of
water
Use synonyms
 is consumed for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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household
purposes
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 which include the kitchens,laundry bathroom,
toilet
Fix the agreement mistake
toilets
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 and gardens/lawns in which the highest
water
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consumption
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 is gardens
at
Change preposition
apply
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the figure of 40% which consumes 108,000
litres
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.After that the
usage
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 of
water
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 for
bathroom
Correct article usage
the bathroom
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 and toilet was same at the 20% each which includes 54000
litres
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 each and
also
Linking Words
 the
water
Use synonyms
consumption
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 for
kitchen
Add an article
the kitchen
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 was 8% which is
two third
Correct your spelling
two-thirds
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 of the
water
Use synonyms
usage
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 for laundry
purposes
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at
Change preposition
as
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 a proportion of 12% which consumes 21440
litres
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 and 32168
litres
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 respectively.
on the other hand
Linking Words
,the
water
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 distribution for commercial
purposes
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 is double
than
Change preposition
apply
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the
water
Use synonyms
consume
Change the form of the verb
consumed
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by
Change preposition
for
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 leakage
purposes
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
with
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 the figure of over 20% and 10% respectively.all through the
usage
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 of
water
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 for unmetered and institution is same almost at 8% and 7% respectively. which both
covers
Correct subject-verb agreement
cover
show examples
 a total of only 15% of consumed
water
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
The introduction provides a general overview of the data presented, but it could be strengthened by incorporating specific details about the distribution and average usage in Astoria. Additionally, consider rephrasing the overall statement for clarity.
coherence and cohesion
The essay demonstrates a fair level of organization, but transitions between points could be improved for better flow. Use linking words (e.g., 'Furthermore,' 'In contrast,' etc.) to connect ideas and sections smoothly.
task achievement
While specific figures are provided, including more comparative insights (such as contrasts between domestic and commercial use) could enhance the discussion and make the analysis more comprehensive.
task achievement
The essay effectively identifies major water usage categories and provides specific data to support the observations, which shows a good understanding of the task.
task achievement
The use of the percentage distribution helps illustrate the data clearly, allowing readers to easily comprehend the proportional usage of water in different areas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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