IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people argue job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others believe a permanent job is more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #job #satisfaction #security
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is thought by some
people
Use synonyms
 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
 essential than security
work
Use synonyms
. Some
peolpe
Correct your spelling
people
 might think that
adventage
Correct your spelling
advantage
 of working for
permanent
Add an article
a permanent
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 is more
nescessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
. In my opinion, I believe that a
satifie
Correct your spelling
satisfied
job
Use synonyms
 could be more
benefitcial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
. The advantage of working for only
satisfie
Correct your spelling
satisfied
job
Use synonyms
 is that
people
Use synonyms
 can gain happiness by
itself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
 for doing the
job
Use synonyms
 they are good at. In
addion
Correct your spelling
addition
, It
is provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 an opportunity to
acquir
Correct your spelling
acquire
 and develop individual expertise and knowledge of a particular
job
Use synonyms
 and more motivate by using skills that they are trained for and through
job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction. 
As a result
Linking Words
, It
is allow
Change the verb form
allows
show examples
 the
people
Use synonyms
 that
work
Use synonyms
 for their
satifie
Correct your spelling
satisfied
job
Use synonyms
 could
be create
Change the verb form
create
show examples
 new innovation without
perssure
Correct your spelling
pressure
.
For example
Linking Words
, a friend of mind resign
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 a permanent
job
Use synonyms
 and
start up
Add a hyphen
start-up
show examples
 with
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 business that he
complacent
Add a missing verb
is complacent
show examples
, so
Change preposition
with, so
show examples
 he can
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
 his career goals.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that working for
permanent
Add an article
the permanent
a permanent
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 could be
benefitcial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 as It offers
people
Use synonyms
 to have more stability
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 life.
However
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who
work
Use synonyms
 in the same organisation all their working could be boring and less their motivate, which could not help them for
enhance
Change the verb form
enhancing
show examples
 their expertise. In conclusion, it depends on
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
 preference to decide or their situation, whether to
work
Use synonyms
 for
job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction or
work
Use synonyms
 for a permanent
job
Use synonyms
. Either the choices could lead to success and
important
Add a missing verb
are important
show examples
.
Submitted by rabbit_big12 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: