IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they used to be. Give some reasons why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought together.

#families #change
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In the contemporary era, It is indeed a fact that the
bond
Use synonyms
 between families is not as strong as it used to be in the past.
This
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 essay will discuss some potential reasons for
this
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 weakening
bond
Use synonyms
 and mention some possible solutions to resolve
this
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 issue.
Firstly
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, one possible reason why the distances between loved ones are increasing is the
inavailability
Correct your spelling
availability
unavailability
 of
time
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 to devote to the family
members
Use synonyms
. It means the people in the current generation are entirely occupied either with either their employment or studies and
hence
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, are not able to secure a quality
time
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 to spend together.
In contrast
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, the past life used to be less hectic where the individuals would have ample
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time
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 to enjoy and converse with kins and parents.
As a result
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, their family bonding would remain way
more
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apply
show examples
stronger than a bonding between the families in the present world.
In addition
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, with the availability of numerous technological gadgets, the youngsters nowadays prefer to stay isolated and dedicate their leisure
time
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infront
Correct your spelling
in front
 of the screens.
However
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, no
such
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 gadget existed in the past which resulted in the majority of free
time
Use synonyms
 spent while playing with
sibilings
Correct your spelling
siblings
.
For instance
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,
currently
Add a comma
,currently
show examples
 the teenagers devote their 90% of free
time
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 on social media and literally hate the interference of their family
members
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 which was quite opposite in the older days
where
Replace the word
were
show examples
 playing hide and seek, outdoor sports with siblings used to be the
preffered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 choice of teenagers in their free
time
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.
Such
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 situations can certainly be dealt
with
Change preposition
with with
show examples
 some appropriate measures.
Firstly
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, no matter how hectic the schedule is, all the family
members
Use synonyms
 must dine in together as
older
Change preposition
in older
show examples
 days.
This
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 will certainly provide them
quailty
Correct your spelling
quality
time
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 to discuss their
every day
Replace the word
everyday
show examples
 life events with each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
.
Secondly
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, the exposure to the gadgets must be minimized and free
time
Use synonyms
 should be spent
in
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apply
show examples
doing some activities with parents and siblings.
For instance
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, youngsters can help their mother in household work which would certainly make the
bond
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more
Change the word
apply
show examples
stronger. Conclusively,
although
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 the
bond
Use synonyms
 among the families and their
members
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 is collapsing due to the scarcity of
time
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 and
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
expsoure
Correct your spelling
exposure
 to the gadgets, some quality
time
Use synonyms
 at dinner and doing activities with loved ones can certainly heal the broken threads of
this
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bond
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ankit.hart on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • family interactions
  • technological advancements
  • virtual interactions
  • dual-income households
  • urbanization
  • migration
  • social structures
  • individualism
  • family cohesiveness
  • belonging
  • open communication
  • emotional support
  • shared activities
  • family dynamics
  • work-life balance
  • family traditions
  • regular gatherings
  • counseling
  • family therapy
  • prioritizing family time
What to do next:
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