Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that having a set
retirement
age
for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain
workers
deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier
age
. The nation's government has an
age
limit or criteria for certain
workers
to retire and relax from work due to
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
. But It is unfair when you consider the other employees who don't get a chance to retire at 65. So I
also
agree with the statement mentioned above.
Firstly
,
This
is a competitive world, and it is full of competitors and competition between everything. I would say the
workers
who have reached the
age
of 65 must retire to give a chance to the younger
generation
. The new
generation
has more energy and enthusiasm to do creative ideas If they would get a chance.
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
may
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
industries and organizations are welcoming the freshers because they think
younger
Add an article
the younger
show examples
generation
can coop up with new challenges and technology.
Secondly
, the older
generation
who reached the
age
of 65 would spend time with family and friends. So there should be a fixed
age
for all public and private sector
workers
.
Additionally
, the
workers
who used more physical energy must be prioritized in
retirement
.
Such
as builders who
works
Change the verb form
work
show examples
in construction site, postman and teachers.
On the other hand
, the
age
limit can be extended to the
workers
who used less physical energy.
For example
,
Doctos
Correct your spelling
Doctors
Doctor
, lawyers. Those who use less physical strength can be given later
retirement
and so they can serve more. In conclusion, setting an
age
retirement
for all the
workers
is unfair. Always must consider the type of work they did.
Submitted by mailtoritika.chandwani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: