IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People today increasingly use credit cards to make monthly purchases. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #credit #cards #purchases #outweigh
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It is true that increasing numbers of
people
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 in the world use
credit
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cards
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 for their daily expenses.
Although
Linking Words
credit
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cards
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 have a couple of drawbacks
such
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 as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fraud, I believe that there are outweighed by advantages.
Payment
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 by
credit
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cards
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 is beneficial for several reasons.
Firstly
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, a purchase process could be much easier, especially when
people
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 enjoy online shopping. Thanks to
credit
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cards
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,
people
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 do
no
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not
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 need to go shopping with a heavy wallet, and they are able to finish the
payment
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 procedure
by
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apply
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only online.
Furthermore
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, if
people
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 register a
credit
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 card number and password on the shopping site, they can make a purchase by only pressing a
payment
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 button.
Secondly
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,
credit
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 card companies offer a range of rewards and
loyality
Correct your spelling
loyalty
 points to their customers as their marketing strategy.
As a result
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, the more
people
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 use
credit
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cards
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, the more they can get rewards the company provide.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 argue that
credit
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cards
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 have some risks.
Firstly
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, a
significant
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significantly
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 large number of
swindle
Fix the agreement mistake
swindles
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 related to
credit
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cards
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 happens around the world. Skimming
credit
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cards
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 data and hacking laptops are
the
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apply
show examples
frequent cases, which are easily leaked and stolen compared to real money.
Secondly
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,
people
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 can easily borrow money through
credit
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cards
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, so they are at risk
the
Change preposition
of the
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 debts pile up quickly without notice.
Moreover
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,
people
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 have to pay back with
high interest
Add a hyphen
high-interest
show examples
 rates if they have loans. In conclusion, I think the benefits outweigh the drawbacks in terms of
credit
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cards
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. It is true that there are some threats
such
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 as frauds and debts,
however
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, some
credit
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cards
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 company prepared alert
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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 if customers could be cheated.
Consequently
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,
people
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 can stop their
credit
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cards
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 immediately when they notice wrong
payment
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. What is
more
Add a comma
,more
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 there are limits to borrow money, so
people
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 do not need to worry about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
debts.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cashless transactions
  • Financial footprint
  • Interest rates
  • Credit score
  • Consumerism
  • Debt accumulation
  • Expenditure tracking
  • Fraudulent activities
  • Overspending
  • Purchase protection
  • Revolving credit
  • Creditworthiness
  • Impulse buying
  • Secured credit card
  • Unsecured credit card
  • Spending limit
What to do next:
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