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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagrams below show the design for a wave-energy machine and its location. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the design for a wave-energy machine and its location. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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Given two illustrations give information about the wave-energy
machine
Use synonyms
. The first
one
Use synonyms
 shows the structure of the
machine
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 and the
second
Linking Words
one
Use synonyms
 indicates
placement
Correct article usage
the placement
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 options of the
machine
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. The wave-energy
machine
Use synonyms
 generates energy in the form of electricity by using both the air and the
water
Use synonyms
 flow. It can be placed in either deep or shallow waters. The
machine
Use synonyms
 has a simple design with a turbine and three open sides. Two of the holes stand for air and
one
Use synonyms
 stands for
water
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. The
water
Use synonyms
 entrance of the
machine
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 is faced
to
Change preposition
apply
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the direction of the wave, letting
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water
Correct article usage
the water
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 level up whenever a wave comes. Levelling up
water
Use synonyms
 creates an airflow making the turbine work. The turbine is connected to the electric motor that generates energy.
One
Use synonyms
 of the two locations should be selected to set the
machine
Use synonyms
 up.
One
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 is
shores
Correct article usage
the shores
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 having low building cost and
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
one
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 is the open sea which needs more money to install.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the former setting leads to lower output than the latter
one
Use synonyms
.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words machine, one, water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stand" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "wave" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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