Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

Some people argue that a competitive salary is in priority
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
comparison with
job
satisfaction
. While I accept
job
satisfaction
is essential, I believe more income have more benefits. There are several reasons which indicate
job
satisfaction
is extremely important.
Firstly
, if you have a rewarding
job
, it would be
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
entertainment for you. So, you won’t be tired when you are working.
Thus
, you have
this
opportunity to spend more time with your family members and your close friends.
Secondly
,
job
satisfaction
helps people to have
optimistic
Add an article
an optimistic
show examples
attitude toward the world and life.
Finally
, it causes mental relaxation and healthiness.
By
Change preposition
In
show examples
this
way, people’s life span will be increased they have more chance to achieve their wishes.
On the other hand
, there are lots of clear benefits for a well-paid
job
. More facilities like having a spacious and comfortable house, advanced car and enjoying luxury hotels,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
,example
show examples
are correlated with
competitive
Add an article
a competitive
show examples
salary.
In addition
, you not only have more options in your life,
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
in retirement duration, but
also
you have more leisure time that can help you to do exercise. So, you will feel invigorated and
refreshment
Replace the word
refreshed
show examples
when you will old.
Moreover
,
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
sufficient
money
Add a comma
,money
show examples
you can help poor people.
For example
, donate some money to non-profit organizations and charity institutes and enjoy
to see
Change the verb form
seeing
show examples
others are happy with your money. In conclusion, my view is both high salary and
job
satisfaction
are important, but I prefer more income.
Submitted by arash.dejkameh on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
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