Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

#salary #job #satisfaction

Some people argue that a competitive salary is in priority

Change preposition

apply

show examples

comparison with

job

satisfaction

. While I accept

job

satisfaction

is essential, I believe more income have more benefits. There are several reasons which indicate

job

satisfaction

is extremely important.

Firstly

, if you have a rewarding

job

, it would be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

entertainment for you. So, you won’t be tired when you are working.

Thus

, you have

this

opportunity to spend more time with your family members and your close friends.

Secondly

job

satisfaction

helps people to have

optimistic

Add an article

an optimistic

show examples

attitude toward the world and life.

Finally

, it causes mental relaxation and healthiness.

Change preposition

show examples

this

way, people’s life span will be increased they have more chance to achieve their wishes.

On the other hand

, there are lots of clear benefits for a well-paid

job

. More facilities like having a spacious and comfortable house, advanced car and enjoying luxury hotels,

for

example

Add the comma(s)

,example

show examples

are correlated with

competitive

Add an article

a competitive

show examples

salary.

In addition

, you not only have more options in your life,

specially

Replace the word

especially

show examples

in retirement duration, but

also

you have more leisure time that can help you to do exercise. So, you will feel invigorated and

refreshment

Replace the word

refreshed

show examples

when you will old.

Moreover

Change preposition

with

show examples

sufficient

money

Add a comma

,money

show examples

you can help poor people.

For example

, donate some money to non-profit organizations and charity institutes and enjoy

to see

Change the verb form

seeing

show examples

others are happy with your money. In conclusion, my view is both high salary and

job

satisfaction

are important, but I prefer more income.

Submitted by arash.dejkameh on Sun Aug 29 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

242 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

remuneration
financial security
motivation
luxuries
material possessions
fulfillment
work-life balance
stress levels
mental well-being
job security

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Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Because of the covid epidemic, many people prefer to work or study from home instead of going to their workplace or university

is learning english more important than local languanges? give your opinion.

Since the beginning of the 20th century, the number of endangered species ‎has increased significantly and we have witnessed more mass extinctions in ‎this period than in any other period of time.State some reasons for this and ‎provide possible solutions.‎

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others,however,believe that boys and girls benefit more attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Write at least 250 words. In recent years, television has contributed most to changing the quality of life of ordinary people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?