IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

#education #employment #people #work
It is evident that some
people
 prefer to
work
 harder while others do not push themselves to a limit. The question about the reason why some
people
Add a missing verb
are hard
show examples
hard working
Correct your spelling
hardworking
show examples
 and the right balance has always been controversial.
This
 essay will
firstly
 describe reasons why some
people
 are hard-working and
secondly
, discuss why others prefer to spend less time at
work
. On the one hand, there are
people
 who always intended to be hard-working by virtue of several reasons. One of the main reasons is that almost all companies have a competitive environment. Due to
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
 some employees need to prove that they are worthy
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 position.
Although
, there is a question about compensation.
For instance
, international conglomerates
such
 as Unilever and other huge companies try to stimulate their personnel with better compensation packages or bonuses at the end of
year
Add an article
the year
show examples
.
However
, there always
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been
people
 who prefer to be more relaxed than hard-working
people
. Sometimes,
people
 who are stressed at
work
 have various consequences
such
 as health issues, depression and insomnia.
For instance
, a recent report from the Ministry of Labor reveals that more than 80
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of employees suffer from health issues and various outcomes.
In addition
, having said that, some
people
 prefer to spend time with their families and hobbies rather than spend
all time
Add a hyphen
all-time
show examples
 at
work
, because it has an important emotional impact. To conclude, it is evident that hard
work
 allows
people
 to achieve their career goals and earn more money than other
people
,
however
, it is highly important that society should be aware of various consequences and find the right balance.
Submitted by alexia.13 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Genetic predisposition
  • Work ethic
  • Upbringing
  • Cultural values
  • Ambitions
  • Motivated
  • Fear of failure
  • Competitive nature
  • Overworking
  • Burnout
  • Stress-related health issues
  • Productivity
  • Quality of life
  • Healthy balance
  • Long-term productivity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: