IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

while recruiting a new employee the employer should pay more attention to their personal qualities rather than qualification and experience or vice versa discuss both sides and give your opinion

#employee #employer #attention #qualities #qualification #vice
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The continued rise of the
world
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's population is a big
problem
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such
Linking Words
 as
enviroment’s
Correct your spelling
environment's
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problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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, climate change and poverty in
third
Linking Words
world
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countries
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. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 it's a kind of
problem
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 that everybody knows but literally has no idea how to deal with. It’s
such
Linking Words
 a complicated situation and depends on many factors and causes. In my point of ,
view
Add an article
the view
a view
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 we could note a couple of main reasons.
First
Linking Words
 of all, nowadays we have better medical treatment than in the past. The greatest minds of humanity made antibiotics that solve many health issues. As a
,
Remove the comma
apply
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result people live longer now and who could complain about that. Of ,course modern technologies play roles in the rise of the population. Nowadays we have a lot of facilities that make life better and easier. We don’t think about where we get food, we just go to food markets, and can buy whatever we want. We don’t need to hunt like a caveman, we have farms. People build great houses where you will be safe. Fabrics, factories, the car industry, all those things are the result of progress. It leads to the fact that people feel safe and stable, has more children and
have
Change the verb form
has
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 bigger households.
However
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, good things sometimes cause problems.And here is a deal, the rise of population definitely is a global
problem
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 .
For example
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, China is one of the most populous
countries
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 in the
world
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, and there are huge issues about ecology. Same situation in India. ,
Also
Linking Words
 all
countries
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 of the
third
Linking Words
world
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 suffer from diseases, and the Covid pandemic shows us how fast it may spread. As I said, that
problem
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require
Change the verb form
requires
show examples
 solutions, because it’s not about
countries
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, it’s about saving humanity and our planet.
Submitted by mr.alexdyupin on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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