The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices are harmful to individual and to the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
These days, it is hard to reject that mobile
games
are one of the favourable entertainments contributing to happiness and enjoyment, which can break the monotony life of individuals. Someones
consider video Correct your spelling
Some
games
on portable gadgets as impressive entertainment, while
others believe that they can be disastrous for society
and people
. In my opinion, I strongly admit that games
on mobile phones
adversely affect society
, which can lead to an increased number of accidents
, and reduced social life.
The first detrimental effect of a mobile game on society
is accidents
on the roads. As it has been recently developed to play anywhere and anytime due to
the handheld function, people
are able to play while
driving cars or walking on a street. For example
, in 2016, Pokemon Go was very popular among teenagers, it was a game, which
they had to search for monsters in the real world. Change preposition
in which
According to
the report from news
, more than a thousand teenagers across the world was injured Correct article usage
the news
from
Change preposition
in
accidents
caused by cars and a
broken road because they always stared their eyes Correct article usage
apply
on
their Change preposition
at
phones
during
driving a car or crossing roads. Change preposition
while
Therefore
, playing video games
while
driving cars should be prohibited owing to a loss of life and wealth.
Secondly
, addicted
to video Replace the word
addiction
games
can be attributed to declining a relationship between family members. Instead
of spending the
quality moment with beloved family, game Correct article usage
apply
addiction
spends several hours playing online Replace the word
addicts
games
with their visual friends. For instance
, in the modern era, I have seen many people
scrolling on their phones
while
having dinner although
they are sitting at the same table with their family, and do not talk
even a single word to each other. Verb problem
say
As a result
, mobile games
steal quality time
, which
families should spend Correct word choice
and
time
talking and sharing daily vibes with each other.
In conclusion, according to
triggering Change preposition
regarding
accidents
and escalating socialization, I definitely agree with the statement that portable games
are hazardous to our society
and citizens. Moreover
, people
should reduce their time
on mobile phones
, and spend more time
with others in reality.Submitted by prokoh_ja_555 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Provide a clear and concise introduction that clearly presents your position on the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and clearly restates your position.
Task Achievement
Support your main points with specific examples and explore the arguments in more detail.