The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices are harmful to individual and to the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These days, it is hard to reject that mobile
games
are one of the favourable entertainments contributing to happiness and enjoyment, which can break the monotony life of individuals.
Someones
Correct your spelling
Some
show examples
consider video
games
on portable gadgets as impressive entertainment,
while
others believe that they can be disastrous for
society
and
people
. In my opinion, I strongly admit that
games
on mobile
phones
adversely affect
society
, which can lead to an increased number of
accidents
, and reduced social life. The first detrimental effect of a mobile game on
society
is
accidents
on the roads. As it has been recently developed to play anywhere and anytime
due to
the handheld function,
people
are able to play
while
driving cars or walking on a street.
For example
, in 2016, Pokemon Go was very popular among teenagers, it was a game,
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
they had to search for monsters in the real world.
According to
the report from
news
Correct article usage
the news
show examples
, more than a thousand teenagers across the world was injured
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
accidents
caused by cars and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
broken road because they always stared their eyes
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
their
phones
during
Change preposition
while
show examples
driving a car or crossing roads.
Therefore
, playing video
games
while
driving cars should be prohibited owing to a loss of life and wealth.
Secondly
,
addicted
Replace the word
addiction
show examples
to video
games
can be attributed to declining a relationship between family members.
Instead
of spending
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quality moment with beloved family, game
addiction
Replace the word
addicts
show examples
spends several hours playing online
games
with their visual friends.
For instance
, in the modern era, I have seen many
people
scrolling on their
phones
while
having dinner
although
they are sitting at the same table with their family, and do not
talk
Verb problem
say
show examples
even a single word to each other.
As a result
, mobile
games
steal quality
time
,
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
families should spend
time
talking and sharing daily vibes with each other. In conclusion,
according to
Change preposition
regarding
show examples
triggering
accidents
and escalating socialization, I definitely agree with the statement that portable
games
are hazardous to our
society
and citizens.
Moreover
,
people
should reduce their
time
on mobile
phones
, and spend more
time
with others in reality.
Submitted by prokoh_ja_555 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Provide a clear and concise introduction that clearly presents your position on the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and clearly restates your position.
Task Achievement
Support your main points with specific examples and explore the arguments in more detail.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • screen time
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • social isolation
  • interpersonal skills
  • violent content
  • desensitizing
  • cognitive benefits
  • hand-eye coordination
  • problem-solving skills
  • educational value
  • stress relief
  • emotional well-being
  • social connections
  • portable entertainment
  • global communities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: