IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors and teachers are undervalued and should be paid more, especially when other people like film actors or company bosses are paid huge sums of money that are out of proportion to the importance of the work that they do. How far do you agree? What criteria should be used to decide how much people are paid?

#people #workers #nurses #doctors #teachers #film #actors #company #bosses #sums #money #proportion #importance #work #criteria
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Nowadays it is argued that some
workers
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 like doctors and policemen are less valued than expected and for
this
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 reason, they received a poor
salary
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 for what they do,
on the contrary
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, others earn huge sums of money for doing work with relative importance. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss
Correct your spelling
criteria
criterias
Correct article usage
the criterias
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 needed for judging the
salary
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 of
people
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 and
then
Linking Words
 I will explain why I strongly disagree with the statement.
Firstly
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, I believe that one of the main aspects for deciding how much
people
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 are paid is the future income that the
workers
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 will assure,
for example
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, a famous actor will earn a large quantity of money due to the fact that
people
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 and fans will pay for watching that film and all the organisation will earn.
Moreover
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, company bosses could improve the business of the company and maybe they will increase the profit.
Although
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 the
salary
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 depends
by
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on
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 the role of
workers
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,
people
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 said that some kinds of job must be more reward in light of the fact that they work for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society and there are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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social and moral aspects behind
this
Linking Words
 role, in fact, doctors are paid several timeless than famous actor even if
doctor
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the doctor
a doctor
show examples
 could save human life. In conclusion, I think that the main aspect for judging the
salary
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 of
workers
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is
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in
show examples
 the future revenue that
people
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 will assure to the company which paid their earning because there will be a profit,
by contrast
Linking Words
,
workers
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 who cover a social aspect in society, should be paid more than their present
salary
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 because from that kind of person
depend
Add the preposition
ondepend
show examples
 our health, security and education.
Submitted by edogiova01 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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