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Band 5

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

#growth #shops #towns #cities
Emergence
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The emergence
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 of e-commerce will
subsequently
 result in
shutting
Correct article usage
the shutting
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 down of
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
market
 in the future. On the whole, I am in support of
this
 statement, with certain reservations, as stated in the following paragraphs. To commence with, electronic commerce sites offer the consumer to shop at
anytime
Replace the word
any time
show examples
. Nowadays, all the family members are working,
thus
, they do not have time to go
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shopping. Online sites have made it possible for society to purchase a
product
 anytime.
In addition
 to that, the prices of products are cheaper as compared to the price in a local
market
.
This
 is so because
in
Add the comma(s)
,in
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online
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the online
an online
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 facility,
manufacturer
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the manufacturer
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 directly sells the
product
 to
consumer
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the consumer
a consumer
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,
thus
, no middle man is involved. In the case of
local
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a local
the local
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shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
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, there are certain middle persons involved, including
distributor
Fix the agreement mistake
distributors
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,
wholesaler
Fix the agreement mistake
wholesalers
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, which often leads to
hike
Correct article usage
a hike
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 in the price of
product
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the product
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.
Furthermore
, electronic commerce offers the buyer a variety of products from different sellers
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a single place. Choice of products
help
Change the verb form
helps
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 the buyer to purchase a
product
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 best suits
to
Change preposition
apply
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him or her.
On the other hand
, most of the population believe in trying a
product
 before purchasing it.
This
 facility can only be offered at a physical shop. It helps in the better judgement of
quality
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the quality
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 of a
product
, which will be benefited in the long run. To conclude, online shopping has offered many advantages to a purchaser, but
still
Add a comma
,still
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 people visit physical shops for their satisfaction. It will take a long time for people to shift totally from
physical
Correct article usage
the physical
show examples
market
 to
online
Correct article usage
the online
show examples
market
.
Submitted by Manvir kaur bhatti on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
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