IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Many young people regularly change their job over the years. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #change #job #years
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Regular consumption of several nutrients of the average American people
have
Change the verb form
has
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 been illustrated by the given pie diagrams in the form of
percentage
Add an article
a percentage
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. Excessive eating of any one of them can cause serious health issues. Overall,
three
Use synonyms
 charts have been displayed to demonstrate fractions of
three
Use synonyms
 essential substances in four distinct time periods of having
Add an article
a meal
show examples
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
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 on a day-to-day basis. It has been shown that lunch and dinner hours comprises
of
Change preposition
apply
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a larger share of vital elements as
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
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 to the rest two meals. Sodium consumption during dinner is larger than
remaining
Correct article usage
the remaining
show examples
three
Use synonyms
 eating periods. It makes up a massive segment of 43% accurately. Meanwhile, saturated fat and added sugar
accounts
Change the verb form
account
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 for 37% and 23% respectively by Americans. For
breakfast
Add a comma
,breakfast
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 all
three
Use synonyms
 components are in harmony and depicting a value, which is less than one-fifth of the total. Whereas, in
snacks
Add a comma
,snacks
show examples
 the percentage of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 elements are varying substantially. All of these
three
Use synonyms
 crucial substances are acquiring a significant share of below one-
third
Linking Words
 by the American citizens on an average in each intake.
Submitted by debojit.chakrabarty4 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • job satisfaction
  • personal fulfillment
  • values
  • fulfilling
  • benefits
  • motivator
  • career advancement
  • skill development
  • climbing the career ladder
  • dynamic work environment
  • adaptability
  • opportunities
  • work-life balance
  • flexibility
  • professional and personal lives
What to do next:
Look at other essays: