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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Do you think businesses should hire employees who will spend their entire lives working for the company? Explain why do you agree or disagree. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

#businesses #employees #lives #company #support
Nowadays, with the
fast paced
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fast-paced
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 world, the majority of the businesses tends to choose employees who will give their entire life for the sake of
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
. I partially agree with
this
 statement, because it will give both pros and cons for the
company
 as well as
Add an article
the worker
a worker
show examples
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
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. In
this
 essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will discuss both views with
relevent
Correct your spelling
relevant
 reasons and examples.
To begin
 with, the
first
 and most important thing is that the
workers
 who work for
long
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a long
show examples
 period of time do not leak any confidential information of the corporation.
Moreover
, they know everything
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 the business
such
 as capital, profits, losses, different policies which cannot be leaked by the
workers
.
Secondly
,
firm
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firms
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 do not spend
mammoth
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the mammoth
a mammoth
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amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of money for
recuiting
Correct your spelling
recruiting
 purposes. Firms do not need to spend money on different activities like selection process, training and development etc.
For instance
, research shows that the Dale
company
 of manufacturing computers save
one
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
millions
Change to a singular noun
million
show examples
 for
adopt
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adopting
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 the policy of long term
contract
Fix the agreement mistake
contracts
show examples
 between
workers
.
Hence
, it gives many benefits to the corporation to a large extent.
On the other hand
, despite the upside of
this
 trajectory, the drawback cannot be undermined.
Firstly
, it hinders the ample opportunities of
hired
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a hired
the hired
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hand
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hands
show examples
. If, persons
employed
Add a missing verb
are employed
show examples
 for
Add a hyphen
old-time
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old
Correct article usage
the old
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 time, they
efficient
Add a missing verb
are efficient
show examples
 for only one skill and don't have any skill or experience in
other field
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another field
other fields
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. In
additionally
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addition
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, if the firm goes to losses and
unable
Add a missing verb
is unable
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 to give any salary, it will huge loss to the apprentice.
Finally
, as long as offices retain old staff and do not
recuit
Correct your spelling
recruit
 new one, it will negatively impact on both firm and
workers
.
As a result
, no new skills and methods will be adopted by old employees. To conclude, from the above discussions, it can be deduced that selecting jobholder for higher periods reduce the selection cost of
company
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the company
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 and maintain secrets, it can
also
 lead to low profitability and
less
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fewer
show examples
 job events of
worker
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the worker
a worker
show examples
.
Submitted by shwetaverma30722 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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