Nowadays children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some people think that activities are not good for a child’s mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #tv #video #games #people #activities #child’s #health

Children

spend too much time watching television and playing

games

on the

internet

. Some people believe that these kinds of activities have an adverse impact on their brains. I completely agree with

this

statement because TV or computer can leads to a sedentary lifestyle and depression

Change preposition

show examples

children

. Overconsumption of gadgets like smartphones, laptops or computers can make

children

lazy and unhealthy because staring several hours on the screen means no other body movement, which means they do not play outdoor

games

that are indispensable for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mental development.

As a result

, it can give rise to various health-related problems.

For instance

, According to the survey done by a newspaper ‘ Times

India’

Add a comma

,India’

show examples

‘

children

who spend maximum time on

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

have less

intellual

Correct your spelling

intellectual

skills compares to those who play outdoor

games

hence

it can cause impaired brain development. Sitting in front of computers for a long time can cause depression, loneliness and mental sickness as in some video

games

, the contents are sensitive enough to make suicidal thoughts in

children

's minds.

This

is because when

children

see their favourite characters are fighting in the game, they try to intimate them.

For example

, many

children

jumper from the roof after playing

World

Correct article usage

the World

show examples

War Craft

Correct your spelling

WarCraft

show examples

game on the

internet

Therefore

, I believe that overconsumption of video

games

is dangerous for their health, so

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

should be used in moderation. In conclusion, overconsumption of the

internet

is not a good idea because it has a negative effect on

children

's mental health

also

prevents them from getting enough exercise and they should

therefore

only be used sparingly.

Fri Sep 17 2021

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some people think that activities are not good for a child’s mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is as important to teach children to protect the environment as it is to teach them to read and write. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?