Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behaviour? Discuss the reasons and possible results
In
this
contemporary era, people are going vast behind artificial beauty
and are forgetting about natural beauty
. Everybody is spending many expenses on beauty
products or beauty
care centres. It has many causes and consequences that I will discuss in the following paragraphs.
Everything which is come new and may advance has some reasons so beauty
care has been powerful these days because of some reasons. First and foremost, movies and ads are the major sources to influence the normal masses as when we watch them then
definitely youngster wants to try their styles. They prefer to look like actors and actresses like a role model. Moreover
, when we go somewhere such
as functions
, marriage or birthday parties and trips with our friends, we always try to look gorgeous and handsome as compared to other Change preposition
for functions
persons
so that everybody praises their Replace the word
people
beauty
and they could
be attracted to individuals.
Here, I want to dispute the bad results of skin treatment. Wrong verb form
can
Firstly
, juveniles spend a lot of money on these things while
it is just a wastage
of money because skincare products are very expensive. Replace the word
waste
Secondly
, it damages the natural beauty
of men and women that's why they always have to use
makeup to go outside which is not good for health as every product has been made with chemicals. For instance
, my cousin has never used these kinds of product
, Fix the agreement mistake
products
however
, on
her marriage she has to Change preposition
in
use
. Correct pronoun usage
use them
As a consequence
, after her marriage
she lost even the Add a comma
marriage,
last
layer of skin on her face and she has to concern
with the doctor and at least Wrong verb form
be concerned
around
3 ,years she has to take for the Change preposition
for around
faces
recovery.
In conclusion, it is commonly understood that it has been a fashion these days still it is the duty of authorities and Change noun form
face's
beauty
product companies to decrease the use
of chemicals which are very harmful, as well
as
Change preposition
apply
,
humans should try to Remove the comma
apply
use
natural products for their face so that they can save money as well.Submitted by amandeep on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear structure and organization. Ideas are not presented in a logical order, and there is a lack of coherence between paragraphs. Additionally, the introduction and conclusion are underdeveloped, and fail to effectively frame the essay.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task, but does not provide a comprehensive response. The ideas are not clearly developed, and the discussion on the root cause of beauty care expenditure is limited. The essay does provide some relevant examples, but they are not well-integrated into the overall argument.
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