IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is commonly believed that each
gender
Use synonyms
 has
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 own stronger and weaker abilities, and
this
Linking Words
 has caused some to hold the view that certain occupations should be only for
men
Use synonyms
 or women. I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement in that eliminating jobs for people based on
gender
Use synonyms
 could limit individuals from obtaining their highest potentials, and could have
further
Linking Words
 social disadvantages.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 there are common traits and similarities among females or males, each individual is unique and may possess strengths that are usually found in the opposite
gender
Use synonyms
. Banning
men
Use synonyms
 or women from working
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
 certain professions will only create barriers for those who are exceptions
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 popular
gender
Use synonyms
 norms.
For instance
Linking Words
, a woman may be interested in being a truck driver which is dominated mostly by
men
Use synonyms
. If she does not have the opportunity to pursue her desired career, she will be disappointed in her life and may not find the right occupation.
Secondly
Linking Words
, societies that progressively remove all
gender
Use synonyms
 barriers have a better chance of obtaining social equality. Once we categorize jobs based on
gender
Use synonyms
 we are broadening the social gap between
men
Use synonyms
 and women.
This
Linking Words
, in the long-term, will have devastating effects on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. In fact, numerous researches have shown that societies with less social inequality are more likely to have
sustainable
Add an article
a sustainable
show examples
 socio-economic
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
show examples
 that could tackle grave challenges and overcome difficult times. In conclusion, I believe any sort of exclusion for professions based on
gender
Use synonyms
 is not beneficial for individuals and society alike.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it should be avoided on the grounds that it will only cause social and
gender
Use synonyms
 inequality.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender stereotypes
  • societal views
  • inherent biases
  • professional capabilities
  • gender inclusivity
  • equal opportunities
  • diversity
  • unique perspectives
  • physical attributes
  • psychological attributes
  • workplace adaptations
  • modern advancements
  • legal frameworks
  • gender discrimination
  • ethical implications
  • career opportunities
  • case studies
  • real-world examples
  • traditionally dominated
  • successful outcomes
  • atypical roles
What to do next:
Look at other essays: