Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Parents should help their
children
take part in planned group
activities
while others believe it is a personal responsibility for a child to learn by themselves. I will discuss both views and give my opinion. Organised group
activities
are healthy
activities
that keep
children
occupied and busy,Parents are required to guide them in the
activities
,
children
can not plan
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
action by themselves,they need an adult who will give them the programme and take them through as well if the young ones are not guided by an adult all they will do is play their games and
activities
will not be on their mind
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
what happens in lower classes in schools,during break time
this
Change the determiner
this child
these children
show examples
children
are always accompanied by their teachers and a few
activities
are done with the help of the teachers.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
children
can learn
this
Change the determiner
this activity
these activities
show examples
activities
on their own with a repeat of the same for some time they just require training and supervision,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
,example
show examples
if a group of
children
left alone their minds are not thinking of any planned
activities
but playing their own games so
this
will require a long-term process . In conclusion, in my own opinion
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
good to train a child early in life to be responsible but it is a process,we need to guide them
then
we can allow them
do
Add the particle
to do
show examples
their stuff as they grow and as we watch and supervise from a distance.
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • occupied
  • organized
  • group activities
  • benefits
  • social
  • teamwork skills
  • interpersonal skills
  • friendship
  • discipline
  • time management
  • interests
  • hobbies
  • independent play
  • creativity
  • problem-solving skills
  • self-reliance
  • explore
  • discover
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