Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Parents should help their
children
Use synonyms
take part in planned group
activities
Use synonyms
while others believe it is a personal responsibility for a child to learn by themselves. I will discuss both views and give my opinion. Organised group
activities
Use synonyms
are healthy
activities
Use synonyms
that keep
children
Use synonyms
occupied and busy,Parents are required to guide them in the
activities
Use synonyms
,
children
Use synonyms
can not plan
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
action by themselves,they need an adult who will give them the programme and take them through as well if the young ones are not guided by an adult all they will do is play their games and
activities
Use synonyms
will not be on their mind
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
what happens in lower classes in schools,during break time
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
this child
these children
show examples
children
Use synonyms
are always accompanied by their teachers and a few
activities
Use synonyms
are done with the help of the teachers.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
children
Use synonyms
can learn
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
this activity
these activities
show examples
activities
Use synonyms
on their own with a repeat of the same for some time they just require training and supervision,
for
Linking Words
example
Add the comma(s)
,example
show examples
if a group of
children
Use synonyms
left alone their minds are not thinking of any planned
activities
Use synonyms
but playing their own games so
this
Linking Words
will require a long-term process . In conclusion, in my own opinion
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
good to train a child early in life to be responsible but it is a process,we need to guide them
then
Linking Words
we can allow them
do
Add the particle
to do
show examples
their stuff as they grow and as we watch and supervise from a distance.
Submitted by Estherwanjohi17 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • occupied
  • organized
  • group activities
  • benefits
  • social
  • teamwork skills
  • interpersonal skills
  • friendship
  • discipline
  • time management
  • interests
  • hobbies
  • independent play
  • creativity
  • problem-solving skills
  • self-reliance
  • explore
  • discover
What to do next:
Look at other essays: