The government money should be invested in teaching science rather than other subjects so as to help the country make progress and develop. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #science #subjects #country #progress

Some people believe that the

country

should use their budget mostly in teaching

science

than other subjects to develop their

country

. By the way, I definitely disagree

Change preposition

with

show examples

this

argument because there are several parts to develop a nation and the competition of getting employment will be severe. To start with,

science

is not the only subject to make them prosperous.

Although

invest

Change the form of the verb

investing

show examples

science

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

provide a high-technic, it is

also

important to focus on other fields

such

as literature, art, and music. Surprisingly, they can

also

spread the

country

's development to the world.

For example

, Korea now becomes the top of culture industry

such

movie

Fix the agreement mistake

movies

show examples

and music. In the past, the influence of K-dramas or K-pops is limited in Asia but now they are awarded in academy award and billboard music award.

This

became a chance to advertise Korea so just consume their budget in

science

Add an article

the science

show examples

field

is not the only way to make their industry successful.

In addition

the

Correct article usage

show examples

concentration in

science

can lead to higher competition. If a nation

encourage

Change the verb form

encourages

show examples

science

more than other subjects, many students will study and major in

science

Add an article

the science

a science

show examples

field

However

, the existing workforce and famous

science

university

Change the verb form

are

show examples

limited so the competition will be fierce.

For example

, there are common cognitive in Korea which the easiest way to getting a job in the future is to study in

science

or engineering major. It

is now became

Change the verb form

is now becoming

show examples

a problem of

unemployment

Add an article

the unemployment

show examples

crisis. To sum up,

science

is not the only

field

to develop a nation and

this

will lead to unemployment crises. For these reasons, it is clear that a

country

should invest their budget in various

field

Fix the agreement mistake

fields

show examples

to make progress.

Submitted by alice1809 on Sat Oct 09 2021

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

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The government money should be invested in teaching science rather than other subjects so as to help the country make progress and develop. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The funds for postgraduate research are limited; therefore some people think that the government should provide financial support. In their opinion, only scientific research should be funded, rather than other less useful subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today food travel thousand of mile from farmers to consumers. Why is it so? It is a positive or negative development?

It is common nowadays for each member of family to have their own peace of modern technology. Some people think that this will lead to a break down in the family relationships and communication to what extent do you agree or disagree.

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country., while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and giye your opinion.