IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Because of the global economy, many goods including what we use as daily basics produced by other countries have to be transported for a long distance. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#economy #goods #basics #countries #distance
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Due to the concept of
globalisation
Add a comma
,globalisation
show examples
 there has been an increase in trade between countries across the globe, and
as a result
Linking Words
 of nations opening up their
market
Use synonyms
 for foreign business, individuals are exposed to items produced in other countries, even in the daily basic
products
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 there are some disadvantages
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
such
Linking Words
 a system, the pros outweigh the cons
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a large extent. Compared to the old days, now we are having more choices for the same commodity, from different manufacturers across the globe,
hence
Linking Words
 there is an increase in competition among the companies to provide better
products
Use synonyms
 to customers.
For example
Linking Words
, earlier in
India
Add a comma
,India
show examples
 there were only a few automotive manufacturers like HM and Tata, but after the 1990s when the
market
Use synonyms
 was opened up new vehicles with radical designs were introduced by companies like Hyundai and Ford .
Secondly
Linking Words
, people will be able to buy fruits and vegetables which are not locally cultivated .
For example
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
show examples
Dragon fruit, Plum, and Kiwi which were not available in India earlier are now available in most of the
Correct your spelling
supermarkets
show examples
super markets
Correct your spelling
supermarkets
show examples
.
Finally
Linking Words
, globalisation
also
Linking Words
 allows local vendors to expand globally which allows them to boost their business,
for
Linking Words
instance
Add the comma(s)
,instance
show examples
 American supermarket chain Walmart is now open in India as well.
However
Linking Words
, there are some cons
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the concept of
global
Add an article
the global
show examples
 economy, mainly
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
native and traditional items are often lost from
Use synonyms
market
Add an article
the market
show examples
 when people start moving towards more foreign
products
Use synonyms
. Namely, with the advent of
non native
Add a hyphen
non-native
show examples
 fruits in the
market
Use synonyms
, some of the native fruits like Jamun and Guava have lost
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 place. Another main disadvantage is the amount of pollution
that is
Linking Words
 caused by cargo planes and ships for the logistics of these
products
Use synonyms
 to different parts of the world. In summary, the world is now a global village where product native to one country is accessible to individuals in other parts of the world. There are some
disadvatages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
 to the concept of a global economy but the advantages outweigh the disadvantages
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a large extent.
Submitted by nigilmasedon3 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Global economy
  • Consumer choice
  • Economic benefits
  • Job creation
  • Gross Domestic Product (GDP)
  • Infrastructure
  • Standard of living
  • Cost efficiencies
  • Raw materials
  • Production processes
  • Specialization
  • Environmental impact
  • Carbon emissions
  • Pollution
  • Supply chain disruptions
  • Local industries
  • Cultural dilution
What to do next:
Look at other essays: