Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Without a
doubt
Add a comma
,doubt
show examples
there are vast differences between well-to-do families and families who struggle day
to day
Correct your spelling
today
show examples
.
This
is especially apparent in
children
’s development which
manifest
Change the verb form
manifests
show examples
in their adulthood.
For those
Change preposition
Those
show examples
who grew up in a comfortable home environment,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have more opportunities to develop their skills and confidence and can benefit from their parent’s extensive network.
However
,
this
is not always the case as
money
Add an article
the money
show examples
is not the only important factor;
attitude
places
a part
Correct your spelling
apart
show examples
as well. Wealthy
parents
are able to send their
children
to enrichment
classes
that boost their skills and confidence. Enrichment
classes
are not necessary
however
the positive impacts of
such
classes
drive
parents
to splurge on them. These positive impacts include excellent speaking ability, high levels of confidence and increased intellect.
For
example
,
children
who go for expensive and well-known speech and drama
classes
regularly tend to achieve self-assurance and determination. Another
example
is when
parents
send
children
for additional tuition
classes
that
raises
Change the verb form
raise
show examples
their academic capability. When these
children
perform well academically, their certificates put them steps ahead of their peers.
Hence
,
children
in wealthy families have lower chances of battling challenges in their adulthood. Wealthy
parents
can use their influence and connections to their advantage by increasing their child’s prospects in their working
life
.
Children
of these
parents
are given better working opportunities for reasons
such
as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal favour or business deals.
For
example
, influential friends of wealthy
parents
may favour their
children
over other equally qualified candidates.
This
happens when
parents
communicate their intentions for their child to be given the opportunity and their request is obliged out of personal relations.
This
shows how
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
network breaks down barriers that
children
face when they are entering the working world as adults,
therefore
reaffirming the idea that wealth and connections have great benefits for
children
.
Although
money and wealth can prove to be
life changing
Add a hyphen
life-changing
show examples
,
attitude
is equally, if not more, important.
Children
born with a silver spoon have been presented with opportunities and platforms that
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
to get them to where they are throughout their entire
life
. Hard work and
attitude
draws the line between success and failure. One
example
to
potray
Correct your spelling
portray
this
situation is Warner in the movie legally blonde. He was built with a false sense of security as his family has always been successful and influential
poleticians
Correct your spelling
politicians
and yet he barely scrape through law school because he was not as hardworking and neither does he have the right
attitude
to succeed as a senator.
This
is a classic yet comical
example
that silver platters are not everything.
Therefore
children
need much more than enrichment
classes
and
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
to overcome challenges when they are older. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
it is true that money does make the world go round, the defining and differentiating factor will still be the
attitude
that one has towards
life
and the obstacles that
they
Correct pronoun usage
one
show examples
face.
Submitted by yanizainal5 on

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Your opinion

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