Many people believe that the government should encourage industries and businesses to move from large cities to the countryside. Do you think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people feel that industries and trades should be transferred from metropolitan cities to rural sites by the authorities. In my opinion,
this
idea has more merits and it can overcome its negative aspects. There are considerable benefits to commercialization in villages is that it creates many better employment opportunities for rural people because the income of inhabitants in villages mainly depends on agriculture. When severe weather events
such
as hurricanes, floods and earthquakes occur, severely affect their jobs,
due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they can only
helplessly
Add a missing verb
being helplessly
show examples
become
Fix the infinitive
to become
show examples
unemployed. With the appearance of industries and businesses, villagers can solve their employment problems.
Finally
, by locating
companies
in remote areas, there will be many good effects on the city
such
as reducing overcrowding, traffic congestion and environmental contamination .
However
, there are potential drawbacks to
companies
and businesses
move
Wrong verb form
moving
show examples
their premises outside metropolises. When manufacturers are situated in regional sites, it is quite inconvenient for firms to keep in touch with their customers and counterparts. They will have to make a long commute to have an appointment with each other, or to have
Correct your spelling
thorough
show examples
through
Correct your spelling
thorough
show examples
discussions.
Therefore
, it can ruin their relationships with their clients. In conclusion, the advantages to businesses relocating in more remote areas seem to outweigh the disadvantages as it can benefit the local communities and the metropolitan areas.
However
,
companies
may face challenges
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
tackling the issue of environmental
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
. Given
this
situation, it seems that government should offer incentives to encourage
companies
to relocate to the countryside.
Submitted by domaianh.uliser on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: