The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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Natural beauty spots are being lost in many nations
due to
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the increase in population size and urbanization. There are many advantages of preserving natural places of beauty
such
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as attracting tourists and promoting a healthy ecosystem.
This
Linking Words
essay will shed light on the benefits of protecting nature and the solutions to achieve them. First of all, tourism helps boost a country's economy. People from all over the world travel to witness and enjoy the natural history and charm of a country.
For instance
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, Cherai Beach in Kerala, India, known for its frequent dolphin sightings, has welcomed many visitors from all over the globe, who
also
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wanted to enjoy peaceful swimming in the natural waters there.
Furthermore
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, preserving the natural habitat helps keep the ecosystem in balance.
For example
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, the koalas in Australia were near extinction
due to
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deforestation a couple of years ago but time management has now preserved
this
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endangered species. To achieve
this
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goal of preserving nature many steps can be taken.
Firstly
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, the authority can enforce strict laws which include individuals paying a huge fine for disobeying state
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
.
For instance
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
government officials in Dubai
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
introduced a fine for the disposal of waste anywhere than in the place for which it has been assigned .
Secondly
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, celebrities can help spread awareness through their actions.
For example
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, at their UN speech recently, all the members of the K-pop BTS had worn upcycled clothes as a statement
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
promoting environmental awareness.
This
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encouraged many fans to consider doing the same and
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
more environmentally conscious. In conclusion, overpopulation and urbanization are a growing threat to the destruction of natural areas of beauty;
however
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, there are many actions that can be taken, both by officials and individuals, to protect the existing natural ecosystem.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "due to, for example, for instance".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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