After leaving school or university, young people should choose a job or career that they love, rather than one that pays the best salary. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Nowadays, there are many ways for the young to choose how they use their life after university or school. Some will choose a dream
job
that they wish when they
be
Change the verb form
are
show examples
a child and some will choose the
job
with
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
salary
. Many young people think that a high
salary
job
will be a nice try for the young even it is the correct
job
that they want or not. The high
salary
job
at
first
will help chi student to confident about their economy and they can earn lots of money, help their parents… Some
students
will have a chance at
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
company but that
just
Add a missing verb
is just
show examples
a small one so it
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
easy for all
students
to choose a high-paid
job
. There are many
students
passed
Correct pronoun usage
who passed
show examples
the University after 4-5 years
study
Change preposition
of study
show examples
but they don’t want to choose
doing
Change the verb form
to do
show examples
a small position in some company. Nowadays, there are many new popular
such
as YouTube, Tiktoker or Streamer that can easily make the young want to do because
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
high
salary
at the
begin
Replace the word
beginning
show examples
. In another hand, choosing a
job
that student love but don’t have a nice
salary
also
have some advantages.
For instance
, you won’t choose
a
Change the article
the
show examples
best
salary
but it will be
job
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
that you will develop in the future.
Students
will have a lot
Change preposition
of opportunity
show examples
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
to develop their
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
for the future.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
the
begin
Replace the word
beginning
show examples
, they won’t earn lots of money but they will have a higher in their position and have more
salary
. It’s more
stability
Replace the word
stable
show examples
. Both choose a
job
that they love and the high-paid
salary
will have advantages and
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
. In my opinion, choosing the career ones is the best choice for all of
students
Add an article
the students
show examples
even though the difficulty at the beginning.
Submitted by tonykim09 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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