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Band 4.5

In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom.  Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks?

#cities #video #cameras #places #crime #people #measures #freedom #security
Developing urban areas enhance their surveillance system not only to secure common masses but
also
 to deduce the criminal conspiracy. As per many individuals
consideration
Add a comma
,consideration
show examples
 they believe that using
cameras
 in
crowed
Correct your spelling
crowded
show examples
places
 may result in
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
od
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of
show examples
 privacy. As we know every coin has two faces
therefore
 if something has cons
than
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then
show examples
 it pros
also
. I will
further
 shed light on both in chasing
atanomy
Correct your spelling
autonomy
 and lead to a logical conclusion. Analysing the statement and explaining
further
 the
first
 and the foremost reason behind
this
 is that preservation camcorder
make
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makes
show examples
 public
places
 much safer as people think twice before performing an illegal activity because it is well known to them they if they do so they will
caught
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be caught
catch
show examples
 in
cameras
 and get punished. A survey, which
monitored
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was monitored
show examples
 by
judiciary
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the judiciary
show examples
 of
india
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India
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 in 2018, stated that common
places
 like
bus
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a bus
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station
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stations
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, parks etc having
cameras
 had listed less number of
roberis
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robberies
Roberts
 and
attacts
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attacks
attracts
 whereas other
places
 were accounted in danger zone. Probing ahead, no doubt
cameras
 provide more security but
its
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their
show examples
deire
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desire
 impacts cannot be negative
however
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
 these
cameras
 capture inappropriate
moment
Fix the agreement mistake
moments
show examples
 later on which has
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 awful effect on someone's personal life.
Moreover
,
plethora
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a plethora
the plethora
show examples
 of time security
man
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men
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 who
access
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accesses
show examples
 these
cameras
 record individuals videos and start blackmailing them in order to get money.
Although
 it has merely disadvantages ,
this
 new technology
make
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makes
show examples
possible
Correct pronoun usage
it possible
show examples
 to dwindle the crime not only that but
also
 catch criminal
red handed
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red-handed
show examples
. To infer,
i
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I
show examples
 believe if we do not consider a bit cons of
cameras
 usage
than
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then
show examples
 it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 numerous
pors
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pros
. It made our daily lives safer and protect us in public
palces
Correct your spelling
places
.
Submitted by HMP on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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