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Band 5.5

Popular hobbies and interests change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashions than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time.To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#hobbies #interests #change #time #reflection #trends #fashions #indication #individuals
In the modern world ,a burning issue arises that the famous hobbies as well as interests exchange over
time
 and are most reflected
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
new trend and latest fashions than
indication
Add an article
an indication
show examples
 of what masses want to do in their free
time
. I partially agree with
this
 statement and explain
deeply
Correct pronoun usage
it deeply
show examples
 in my upcoming paragraphs. To the set of wheels in motion,
first
 and the foremost region is that most of the mankind can follow the celebrity of there notion and with
this
Add a comma
,this
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 they reflected
to
Remove the preposition
apply
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new trends as well as follow the
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 date fashion to attract themselves in the front of another person and with
this
 region individual can change their hobbies and interests and all the
time
 they can research about trend and the fashion to show their status to other.
For example
 ,a
servey
Correct your spelling
survey
server
 was conducted by the authority in Canada most of
preson
Correct your spelling
person
 can drop their hobbies and interests ,while they follow the actors and they want to be a famous celebrity in future and get more and more name and fame in society. On the flip side , in the spare
time
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,time
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 people utilise to enhance their knowledge regarding the study and of
any
Correct your spelling
anything
show examples
thing
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,thing
show examples
 with
this
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,this
show examples
 they not only get enlightenment but
also
 begin and excellent person in the era that way bach of
individual
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an individual
the individual
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 can utilise their free
time
 to do
this
 work.
For instance
 , in
India
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,India
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 most of the masses spend their
time
 to get knowledge about foreign language and with
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
 they can easily
service
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serve
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 to another nation. To conclude,many people can waste totally
time
to follow
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following
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 the latest trends and fashion and
copy
Wrong verb form
copying
show examples
 the famous celebrity .
Although
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 have many solutions regards
this
 situation and in
spare
Correct pronoun usage
their spare
show examples
time
 people can
also
 learn more knowledge.
Submitted by HMP on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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