IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Popular hobbies and interests change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashions than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time.To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#hobbies #interests #change #time #reflection #trends #fashions #indication #individuals
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In the modern world ,a burning issue arises that the famous hobbies as well as interests exchange over
time
Use synonyms
 and are most reflected
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
new trend and latest fashions than
indication
Add an article
an indication
show examples
 of what masses want to do in their free
time
Use synonyms
. I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and explain
deeply
Correct pronoun usage
it deeply
show examples
 in my upcoming paragraphs. To the set of wheels in motion,
first
Linking Words
 and the foremost region is that most of the mankind can follow the celebrity of there notion and with
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
,this
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 they reflected
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
new trends as well as follow the
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 date fashion to attract themselves in the front of another person and with
this
Linking Words
 region individual can change their hobbies and interests and all the
time
Use synonyms
 they can research about trend and the fashion to show their status to other.
For example
Linking Words
 ,a
servey
Correct your spelling
survey
server
 was conducted by the authority in Canada most of
preson
Correct your spelling
person
 can drop their hobbies and interests ,while they follow the actors and they want to be a famous celebrity in future and get more and more name and fame in society. On the flip side , in the spare
Use synonyms
time
Add a comma
,time
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 people utilise to enhance their knowledge regarding the study and of
any
Correct your spelling
anything
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thing
Add a comma
,thing
show examples
 with
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
 they not only get enlightenment but
also
Linking Words
 begin and excellent person in the era that way bach of
individual
Add an article
an individual
the individual
show examples
 can utilise their free
time
Use synonyms
 to do
this
Linking Words
 work.
For instance
Linking Words
 , in
India
Add a comma
,India
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 most of the masses spend their
time
Use synonyms
 to get knowledge about foreign language and with
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
 they can easily
service
Replace the word
serve
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 to another nation. To conclude,many people can waste totally
time
Use synonyms
to follow
Change the verb form
following
show examples
 the latest trends and fashion and
copy
Wrong verb form
copying
show examples
 the famous celebrity .
Although
Linking Words
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 have many solutions regards
this
Linking Words
 situation and in
spare
Correct pronoun usage
their spare
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 people can
also
Linking Words
 learn more knowledge.
Submitted by HMP on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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