IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic. Nowadays more people are choosing to live with friends or alone rather than with their families. This trend is likely to have a negative impact on communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

#argument #case #reader #specialist #topic #people #friends #families #trend #impact #communities #support #arguments #evidence
In recent years many
people
 prefer to spend their lives alone or with
Correct your spelling
friends
show examples
fiends
Correct your spelling
friends
show examples
 rather than with their own families.
This
 particular trend is impacting negatively on communities. I completely agree with
this
 notion because
people
 who are living without their families are the ones who are suffering from major psychological issues.
Furthermore
, when they choose to live
their
Change preposition
with their
show examples
friends
then
 most of the
people
 are indulged in different
activities
.
Family
Add an article
The family
show examples
 comprises
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
various individuals who have strong relationships with each other. Despite the fact that family is a support system, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 desire to live alone or with their
friends
 which is giving negative results among the communities.
Firstly
, when
people
 choose to live alone
then
 they have no one to talk to them or listen to them . Most of the time they follow the same routine due to which they become
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
, anxious and depressed. These psychological disorders
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
 lead to suicide.
For instance
, there was an article about suicides in which it was written that most of the
people
 especially youth end their lives because they go through hard times and when they are not able to manage the situation
then
at
Add the comma(s)
, at last,
show examples
last
 they take their lives.
Secondly
, when
people
 live with their
friends
then
 they mostly get indulged in different unethical
activities
 due to peer pressure.
For example
,
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of drugs is prohibited in Islam,
however
, when there is a group of
friends
 they force each other to do various
activities
 which
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 them pleasure.
This
 affects
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
 in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 wrong way. In a
nut shell
Correct your spelling
nutshell
show examples
, when
people
 prefer to live alone or with
friends
 rather than their family
then
 it affects
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
 in a negative way because they sometimes suffer from psychological disorders and
also
 get into various
sort
Fix the agreement mistake
sorts
show examples
 of
activities
 which have consequences in later life.
Submitted by sanireimoo on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • independent living
  • personal growth
  • self-reliant
  • social networks
  • community bonds
  • traditional family structures
  • extended family
  • urban communities
  • innovation
  • creativity
  • isolation
  • emotional support
  • stability
  • collective resilience
  • economic disparities
  • housing costs
What to do next:
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