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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#job #salary #consideration
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In today's world
money
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 is seen as an
isdispensable
Correct your spelling
indispensable
 part of our
lives
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.
People
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 have a tendency to choose their
job
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 if it offers
adequate
Add an article
an adequate
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 amount of
money
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.
However
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, after doing these works they are
mostl
Correct your spelling
most
mostly
 aware
of
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apply
show examples
that,
this
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 field is not their domain. I reckon that to choose a
job
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 our priorities shouldn'
t
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 be limited by
money
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.
First
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 and foremost, after the invention of
money
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 humankind has put a lot of means
on
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into
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 it,
this
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 situation
has
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tohas
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lead
Wrong verb form
led
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 us to think
money
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 has a vital role in our
lives
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. Due to the shortage of
money
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humanbeing
Correct your spelling
human being
 put themselves in a dire state and to get rid of these circumstances, they try to find new ways to gain
money
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,
such
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 as finding a new
job
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, working
at
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apply
show examples
two
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job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 at the same time. Especially at earlier ages, young generations are mesmerised by
world
Correct article usage
the world
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. Young ones are more enthusiastic
for
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about
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 life, even though their dreams are so extreme they don'
t
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 mind it since they are more optimistic in comparison to older ages.
On the other hand
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, dreams are
also
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 connected with their opportunities. If one
lives
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 in
underdeveloped
Correct article usage
an underdeveloped
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 country her
/
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his
money
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 need is different from any person who
lives
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 in
developed
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a developed
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 country. In order to survive and keep her
/
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his family alive one gives up her
/
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his own dreams and takes any
job
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 to gain
money
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. A
further
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 reason for why
money
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 has
such
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 power in work areas is because the more
money
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 you earn the more you see respect from the environment.
Such
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 opinions do a great number of harm to us, when a person starts to evaluate career options regardless of the
job
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's content he
/
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she picks out the works which increase her
/
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his income rapidly. The majority of
people
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 don'
t
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 work in the
job
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 area they wanted once since during their adolescence period they were taken in by the power of
money
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. Quite the contrary,
money
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 shouldn'
t
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 pose a human's priority, it should be a vehicle for their goals
not
Add the comma(s)
,not
show examples
 a purpose. In light of the facts recounted above, the strength of
money
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 is a force to be reckoned with, it is seen as a superiority idom ,
therefore
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, most
people
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 choose their
job
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 only by looking the salary. To me,
this
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 scale will lead plenty of problematic
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 in the long term as most of them won'
t
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 be happy
their
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with their
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job
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.
Instead
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 of suffering in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 whole life
people
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 can work whatever
job
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 they want by leaving out
money
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 from their priorities
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consideration
  • sole factor
  • financial stability
  • security
  • motivating factor
  • dissatisfaction
  • demotivation
  • job satisfaction
  • overall well-being
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • flexible working hours
  • vacations
  • career growth opportunities
  • skill development
  • advancement
  • determining factor
What to do next:
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