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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Write about the following topic. Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #organisations #employees #dress #value #quality #work #appearance
Nowadays, the image of an organization is an important issue that the entrepreneur should concern about.
Thus
,  some companies tell their employees to dress in formal dress. While others argue that the outfit is not a vital point because it is not relevant to the quality of
work
.
However
, both views and the examples will be outlined in the following paragraphs, before the conclusion, which includes my opinion, is reached. On the one hand, it is deniable that good-looking people always impress others. Same as the business terms, a formal dressing person may attract more customers. To be explained, if you
work
 at the agency and have to do the pitching to compete with others, clients often choose a reliable person to take care of their project.
That is
 the reason why the outfits play a big role in making
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
opportunities
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunity
show examples
 for the company.
On the other hand
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smart dressing may not suit
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some kind of job.
For example
, graphic design, Social media executive, creative, production-
relevanted
Correct your spelling
relevant
 worker and the job that do not have to meet various of people.
Furthermore
, concerning too much about dressing
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 or wearing uncomfortable clothes could cause more stress to them.
This
 may lead to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 lower quality of
work
. To summarise, there are both advantages and disadvantages of dressing
formal
Change the adjective
formally
show examples
 while working in the company.
However
, I agree with the latter statement that workers should wear what is appropriate for their job and focus on the
work
 more than the outfit that sometimes no one
see
Change the verb form
sees
show examples
.
Finally
, it is the duty of the director to manage and balance between the presentation and the quality of
work
 of their business.
Submitted by khaopun13 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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