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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the internet in order to meet and chat with friends which can lead to potentially dangerous situations. What solutions can you suggest to deal with this problem

#development #media #youngsters #access #internet #chat #friends #situations
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
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,
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internet
Add an article
the internet
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 is getting harmful
day
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 by
day
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. All
preteen
Fix the agreement mistake
preteens
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 are using social
media
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 roughly. There
are
Change the verb form
is
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 no scope to skip
this
Linking Words
 situation because government and guardian are still unconscious about
children
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access
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 social
media
Use synonyms
.
World
Add an article
The world
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 is becoming fast by
this
Linking Words
day
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 by
day
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 but
children
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 are destroying along with
this
Linking Words
. Easy
access
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 to the
Internet
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 will affect
on
Change preposition
apply
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children
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's mentality a lot.In 2021,all
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
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 are very much addicted
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 social
media
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, like Facebook, Instagram,
twitter
Change the capitalization
Twitter
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 and so on. There are
also
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 have some solutions
beside
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem. Just we have
Fix the infinitive
to follow
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follow
Change the verb form
followed
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 it. Specially have to follow those who are guiding their youth or handling them.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
government
Add an article
the government
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 should give some
restriction
Fix the agreement mistake
restrictions
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 on
preteen
Fix the agreement mistake
preteens
show examples
.Government should know
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
children
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 are accessing
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Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
 becoming horrible. Schools should aware of
this
Linking Words
 problem, they can give proper counsel to the student as students
has
Change the verb form
have
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 to stay in school long
time
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.
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Teacher's
Change the noun form
Teachers
Teacher
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 are
alway
Correct your spelling
always
 like Angel to the youth
ster
Correct your spelling
centre
, so they will
listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
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 their
teacher
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 without any hesitation.
For example
Linking Words
, I know a boy who is very arrogant with his
parents
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. But when
Use synonyms
teacher
Correct article usage
the teacher
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say
Change the verb form
says
show examples
 anything to him, he can't
ignor
Correct your spelling
ignore
 that advice.That's why all
time
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 his
parents
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has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 to depend on his
teacher
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.
Gurdian's
Correct your spelling
Guardian's
also
Linking Words
 can maintain
this
Linking Words
 role. If any boy or girl listen to
their
Change the pronoun
them
show examples
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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guardian,
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
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parents
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 should appreciate it. I personally think
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if we wouldn't allow to
children
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 that much
access
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 in social
media
Use synonyms
 or
internet
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 and
also
Linking Words
 if we concern their
use
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time
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 it will be more useful to their growth.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a boy or girl wants to
use
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 social
media
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 or
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Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
, we should say them OK
use
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 it in front of us. And if we have no
time
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for
Change preposition
to
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 look after
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 issue
then
Linking Words
 we have
Use synonyms
use
Fix the infinitive
to use
show examples
 software it's called parenting software, that would be much effective. Because by
this
Linking Words
 software you can see your
children
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 what is going on sitting in your location.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
parents
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also
Linking Words
 can a very interesting thing about their
children
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 like try to spend more their
time
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 with the young. They can inspire for reading books like
Add an article
a novel
the novel
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novel
Fix the agreement mistake
novels
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, short
story
Fix the agreement mistake
stories
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, bio and so many books. They can buy it
from
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apply
show examples
online and from
library
Add an article
the library
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.
Thirdly
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,
Gurdian's
Correct your spelling
Guardian's
 can suggest their
children
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to
Remove the particle
apply
show examples
see a geographical channel or a scientific movie that they can learn from it.Overall I think any possible and positive steps
parents
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 can take to rethink their
children
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.
Children
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has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 to understand their morality and good education by
aware
Add a missing verb
being aware
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 of their environment,
parents
Use synonyms
 and their nation. Because I believe still there are so many opportunities
are exist
Change the verb form
are existed
show examples
 by
Linking Words
this opportunities
Change the determiner
this opportunity
these opportunities
show examples
 you can prevent
this
Linking Words
 remarkable
access
Use synonyms
. So be positive all and aware
all
Change preposition
of all
show examples
.
Submitted by farjanagd on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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