IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

some people think government should invest more money in teaching science than others subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #science #subjects #country #progress
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today's modern world,
technology
Use synonyms
 has become an integral and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most important part of our
life
Use synonyms
. Our daily routine has become dependent on
technology
Use synonyms
. It has become so important that we have
forgot
Change the verb form
forgotten
show examples
 about the other important things which can help our
country
Use synonyms
 to a development stage. In my opinion, we should give equal importance to every subject, be it
science
Use synonyms
 or geography or any other in order to excel. Obviously, without
science
Use synonyms
, we cannot think about surviving our
life
Use synonyms
easily
Replace the word
easier
show examples
 but we should not be dependent on them as they may make us lazy to do our daily job. The
country
Use synonyms
 should develop and progress not just because of
technology
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 because of culture, economy, upgrading and maintaining the precious art forms.
For example
Linking Words
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
building museums where our artists can showcase their unique talents in front of others, will boost their confidence and
also
Linking Words
 will help in making a positive contribution to the economy. The livelihood of citizens cannot depend on just
science
Use synonyms
. People have their own passion and they want to live their
life
Use synonyms
 in their own way. One should not just depend his
life
Use synonyms
 only on
technology
Use synonyms
. The development and the progress will happen only when we all contribute
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 bringing a positive and healthy environment towards our surroundings. People should focus only on what they are good and that will help the
country
Use synonyms
 to move ahead when compared to others. If everyone
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 each other in overcoming the weaknesses and
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
 out
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
positivity in each other, it will help the
country
Use synonyms
 in a broad manner. To conclude, I want to say that
science
Use synonyms
 may be important in today's competitive world but it is not the only thing that can make a
country
Use synonyms
 in developing stage. There are other aspects and other subjects other than
science
Use synonyms
 which can be a
game changer
Add a hyphen
game-changer
show examples
 for the people. And once they come to know about other subjects importance, the
country
Use synonyms
 will totally move ahead.
Submitted by ankit24747 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • economic growth
  • holistic development
  • technological advancements
  • critical thinking
  • cultural awareness
  • sustainable development
  • return on investment (ROI)
  • global competitiveness
  • job market
  • equitable education
  • funding allocation
  • curriculum balance
  • civic responsibilities
  • interdisciplinary approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: