IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some countries spend a lot of money to make bicycle usage easier. Why is this? Is this the best solution to traffic congestion.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Start now →
Introduction
Nowadays, co-education has become popular in every
Institut
Correct your spelling
institute
show examples
. Some people still argue that those who study in a single-sex school, perform academically better ,
however
Linking Words
, others believe that it restricts social development. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will describe the importance of
mixed
Correct article usage
a mixed
show examples
 education society and the drawbacks of a single-sex curriculum.
Body · 1
In my opinion, mixed education is essentially for the social development of the youngster. Because They learn some soft skills
such
Linking Words
 as, how to behave with them,
how
Correct word choice
and how
show examples
 to respect them, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 vital manners for living in a society. Some boys,
for instance
Linking Words
, are more friendly with girls as compared to boys. They develop not only socially but on an emotional level as well.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is imperative to study with
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 sex.
Body · 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, those who believe that a single-sex institute is better, have some drawbacks as well.
First,
Linking Words
they become hesitant
in mixing
Change preposition
to mix
show examples
 with another partner. They develop a sense of difference for them,
For example
Linking Words
, I studied in a single-sex institute up to high school. Later
Rephrase
apply
show examples
then
Linking Words
, I faced a lot of difficulties in mixing with teenage boys. Sometimes I felt lonely in class because everyone had their partner except me.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I took two years to develop a friendly relationship with youngsters.
Thus
Linking Words
, it sometimes brings depression and
led
Wrong verb form
leads
show examples
 to a solitary attitude.
Conclusion
In conclusion, mixed education has certain benefits
such
Linking Words
 as learning some skills and developing relationships which is mandatory for a good social life. Studying in same-sex schools sometimes may bring hesitancy and depression which cannot be ignored in the development of the individual.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your essay addresses both the advantages of co-education and the drawbacks of a single-sex curriculum, which fulfills the task requirement. However, ensure that your examples are relevant and support your points effectively.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear overall structure, but pay attention to linking your ideas within and between paragraphs more effectively to improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: