Women and men are commonly seen as having different strength and weakness.It is right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender?

#women #men #strength #weakness #right #males #females #professions #gender

It is believed that females and males have different abilities including

strength

Fix the agreement mistake

strengths

show examples

and

weakness

Fix the agreement mistake

weaknesses

show examples

.I completely agree with the opinion that women and

men

should have specified careers in order to the

gender

distinction.

That is

to say,

gender

consensus claims that women do not have physical and mental requirements which are significant in order to participate in some activities.

However

this

attitude might come from a sexual stereotype

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

mentioned

men

’s superiority.

For instance

, females are not allowed to join

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the Army in many countries.Whilst, in other societies women may be seen in the front line of war.Added to

this

, in Islamic countries females cannot do various posts because of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

religious beliefs.

Consequently

this

notion has a masculine trend behind it.

Furthermore

, society does not accept

men

in some

position

Fix the agreement mistake

positions

show examples

mainly believed as

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

female work. Since

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

customers are not willing to have been serviced by

men

in some professions which require more delicacy and careful consideration

such

as nursery and kindergarten.

Moreover

, they prefer to see a madam as a bridal hairdresser rather than a man.

In addition

, many company holders would rather

Remove the marker

apply

show examples

admit

male

Fix the agreement mistake

males

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

the

workplaces

Fix the agreement mistake

workplace

show examples

in order to increase

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

productivity.Ultimately, many reckon several professions appropriate for

certain

Add an article

a certain

show examples

gender

. In conclusion, there are many jobs

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

are assigned for a specific

gender

Men

’s attitude display that if female do some careers, it would lead to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

failure.

Thus

, certain posts are traditionally suitable for

men

. As they have believed not only are

men

hard-working,but they are

also

powerful and intelligent.

Submitted by shabnam.sohanian on Fri Dec 03 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Women and men are commonly seen as having different strength and weakness.It is right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

The number of children that read for fun has dropped dramatically in recent years. What are the reasons for this? How can we encourage children to read more? (Write at least 250 words.)

Freshwater has always been a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What are the causes of this increased demand, and what measures could governments and individuals take to respond to this problem?

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?