IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree ?

#salary #job #satisfaction
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Arguments about choosing the right
job
Use synonyms
always
Add a missing verb
have always
show examples
were
Wrong verb form
been
show examples
 a part of our
life
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. When one considers a big
salary
Use synonyms
 more essential, others prefer to choose
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
. I completely disagree with the statement that big payment is much more important than
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 and his essay will argue that fact.
First
Linking Words
 of all, I believe that
job
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satisfaction
Use synonyms
 gives people a sense of
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
 without money. It is a fact that our
job
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 takes a big part of our day and
life
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 and if occupation can not make your
life
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 fulfilling enough you will not enjoy your
life
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. Because even though you earn a lot of money, but
Use synonyms
job
Add an article
the job
show examples
 becomes a daily routine, you will hate it.
For instance
Linking Words
, plenty of modern scientists and researchers choose
this
Linking Words
 profession and build their own
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
not
Add the comma(s)
,not
show examples
 because of the appropriate wage, but because they were taken by the idea of their
job
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.
That is
Linking Words
 why it is more important
take
Fix the infinitive
to take
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 a kind of
job
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 which make you
more happy
Replace the words
happier
show examples
 than to look only
to
Change preposition
at
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high
Add an article
a high
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,doing what you love keeps you
motivating
Wrong verb form
motivated
show examples
 well and
then
Linking Words
 helps to career growth.
In other words
Linking Words
, it is obvious that when you have enough motivation you can be productive the whole day long. That
also
Linking Words
 will have a good impact on your worker skills and indicate you
as
Replace the word
like
show examples
 a more suitable and appropriate worker among those who put a
salary
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 in the
first
Linking Words
 place.
For example
Linking Words
, J.K. Rowling is a “Harry Potter” writer and at the beginning of her
career
Add a comma
,career
show examples
 she has fought with some
publisments
Correct your spelling
publishments
. Because they considered her story not enough appropriate and well, but she
prefered
Add the particle
toprefered
show examples
 continue giving offers and one publishment gave a chance to
this
Linking Words
 story.
Then
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 story about
wizard
Correct article usage
a wizard
show examples
 boy became a must-have among literature and helped her author leave
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
poverty.
Linking Words
This
Correct determiner usage
These
show examples
 advantages of work can keep
your
Correct pronoun usage
you
show examples
 satisfied overweight the drawbacks of a low
salary
Use synonyms
 in a long-term perspective. In conclusion, I strongly believe that
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction
Use synonyms
 is more beneficial than
salary
Use synonyms
 because it makes people happier and motivated.
Submitted by G9 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
Look at other essays: