Some people argue that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while others believe that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, and a permanent job is more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

in
reccent
Correct your spelling
recent
decades,
people
are working harder than before and spend most of their
time
on earning
money
.some individuals believe that
job
satisfaction is a significant element in each work.
however
,some commentators argue that having a permanent
job
is more important than
job
satisfactoin
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
.there is a
rang
Correct your spelling
range
show examples
of reasons on both sides which I will explain here. on the one hand,
people
spend most of their
time
on their
job
nowadays. contentment of
job
plays a significant role in their lives.
therefore
, they take their responsibility in
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
way.
for example
, if
doctores
Correct your spelling
doctors
love what
their
Replace the word
they're
they are
show examples
doing ,they can take care
Change preposition
of patient
show examples
patient
Fix the agreement mistake
patients
show examples
in
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
way.
in addition
,
people
s real potential and creativity are found by
job
satisfaction.
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
most of the
time
,
enterprnures
Correct your spelling
enterprises
are arrival after they discover their potential and have been brought up by a new idea.all of the successful
people
such
as ilan musk ,Edison,mike
zakerberg
Correct your spelling
Zuckerberg
,love what
their
Replace the word
they're
they are
show examples
doing so they make
a
Change the article
an
show examples
anormous
Correct your spelling
enormous
change in the world .
Artituctures
Correct your spelling
Architectures
can be
anothert
Correct your spelling
another
example.
thay
Correct your spelling
they
can manifest their souls and build
a great mansions
Correct the article-noun agreement
a great mansion
great mansions
show examples
which we can see in ancient
dynastier
Correct your spelling
dynasties
like china and japan.
on the other hand
,
firstly
,
money
become a controversial
topice
Correct your spelling
topic
among communities nowadays.they are worried about their expenditures and try to
preper
Correct your spelling
prepare
a comfortable life for their family.
for example
,in some countries
such
as Iran or China , men are a breadwinner in societies so,
job
security
is become
Change to the active voice
becomes
has become
show examples
more important than
job
contentment.even they force to get two or three
job
Change to a plural noun
jobs
show examples
at the same
time
for earning
money
.
in addition
old
people
believe that any strange
circumpstanses
Correct your spelling
circumstances
might be
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
suddenly,
such
as
variouse
Correct your spelling
various
types of disease or car accident which can
parelize
Correct your spelling
paralyze
people
.
therefore
, they can earn
money
in that way easily.
to
Change preposition
In
show examples
conclusion
Add an article
a conclusion
the conclusion
show examples
,communities are more involved with jobs than before,from my point of view,
job
satisfaction can cause a
pepoles
Correct your spelling
peoples
people
better function and impact on
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
.while
job
security has
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
it s
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
own importance too which could not be neglected.
Submitted by maherfateme on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: