IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people feel that governments should take a large proportion of people' salaries to pay for public services such as roads and schools. Other thinks high taxes are bad. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #governments #proportion #salaries #services #roads #schools #taxes
Some
people
 believe that it is necessary for the
government
 to take a large amount of taxes
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
people
's salaries for constructing roads and
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
services
.
This
essays
Fix the agreement mistake
essay
show examples
 will discuss both views but believes that high taxes are bad. On the one hand, there are two key reasons why the
government
 should impose
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 salary tax. The main reason is that it can provide citizens with better
services
 and infrastructures. When the
government
 receives more
money
 from the
people
, they can use them in different areas
such
 as building a better public transport network and more public facilities like sports
centre
Fix the agreement mistake
centres
show examples
. Another reason is that it is beneficial to the underprivileged. The
government
 can provide some public
services
 or subsidies to society with the
money
 they received.
For example
, the poor can visit the public hospital for free when they are sick.
Therefore
, it can reduce their
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 pressures.
On the other hand
, there are two reasons why the
government
 should not impose high taxes.
Firstly
, it may reduce the motivation for
people
 to earn
money
. When
people
 have to pay a large proportion of their salaries to the
government
, some of them will think that getting subsidies may provide them
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
higher income than having a job.
As a result
, they will not be motivated to work.
Moreover
, it may increase the pressure for some
people
 with low
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
. Some citizens’ salaries only merely cover their expenditures, if they have to pay a large part of their income to the
government
, they may not have enough
money
 for living. So it may affect their quality of living. To conclude,
although
 high tax may provide better
services
 to
people
,
this
 essay still believes that its drawbacks outweigh its benefits.
Submitted by chloelwy3905 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: