IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam.' how true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

#car #ownership #thirty #years #cities #world #traffic #jam #measures #governments #people #cars
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Due to advanced technology, there is a significant increase in the number of
vehicles
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.It is argued that because of
rapid
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the rapid
a rapid
show examples
 increase in car ownership, cities are facing more traffic.As per my own perspective,
above
Correct article usage
the above
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 statement is true and I will discuss what
government
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 can do to promote public transport rather than private
vehicles
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
,more
vehicles
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 on roads are not
only
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the only
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 concern of traffic blockage but
also
Linking Words
 affects
environment
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the environment
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.
For Example
Linking Words
, air pollution has resulted in climate change and global warming due to
emission
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the emission
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 of harmful gases
in
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into
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 the air. It not only destroys the environment but
also
Linking Words
a
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is a
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big threat to health and results in
disease
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diseases
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such
Linking Words
 as Asthma or cardiovascular .
On the other
Linking Words
Hand
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hand
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,
Government
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 needs to improve
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 transport system and provide easy access to nearby places in order to motivate people to use trains and buses.Other than that,
Government
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 needs to raise awareness and educate people that what are the side effects of using more private
vehicles
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. To Conclude,
Although
Linking Words
 it's true that private
vehicles
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 are resulting in
traffic
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a traffic
show examples
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
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but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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if
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 takes possible measures and educates
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 people about the damages of air pollution,
this
Linking Words
 issue can be resolved.
Submitted by jiyya.chaudhary on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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