IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now ‘one big traffic jam’. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

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Over the past 3 decades, the number of people who own a car has increased greatly
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
causes
Wrong verb form
causing
show examples
 a huge strain on the transportation system of a country.
This
 essay agrees with the idea because there are not enough roads to support the traffic.
In addition
, it will discuss some solutions that a state can do to reduce the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of private cars. The increasing of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
private
Correct quantifier usage
number of private
show examples
 cars on a street has formed a great burden on transportation infrastructure. While the vehicle provides many conveniences
such
 as travelling safety and speed, roads and transportation's facilities need to be created to support them. These constructions
require
Add the particle
torequire
show examples
complicate
Wrong verb form
complicated
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 processes and need a long time for planning
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 might impact families and houses on both sides of a road.
For instance
, in Hochiminh city, streets are mostly constructed during the French colonization, so they are small and damaged;
as a result
, the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 here has to buy back properties on both sides of the road to get more land for the road enlargement .
Submitted by thaibinh11287 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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