To achieve personal happiness, the relationships we have with other people (friends, colleagues, family) are more essential than every other thing. Issues like wealth and occupations take the second place. Write to support this claim.

#happiness #relationships #people #friends #colleagues #wealth #occupations #second #place #support

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Nowadays, humankind put wealth before their relationships with family members and friends.

However

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

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material prosperity is not helping them to acquire the

happiness

Use synonyms

they long for. In my opinion, a strong family bond and

Remove the article

apply

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good communication with others support us to live our

life

Use synonyms

happily. In

this

Linking Words

essay, we focus our discussion on how a close connection with family and friends make us feel

secured

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secure

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; and wealth alone is not sufficient to ensure our

happiness

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. To commence with, human beings are social animals and their attachment with family and their pals play a significant role in guaranteeing their

happiness

Use synonyms

. A study has shown that

people

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who live among their near and dear ones are

the

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apply

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happier than the ones who live

isolated

Add an article

an isolated

show examples

life

Use synonyms

. In fact, the

people

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who live together with their close allies have

opportunity

Correct article usage

the opportunity

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to share their pains and celebrate their successes.

Hence

Linking Words

, their hearts are filled with positive emotions and joyful experiences almost all the time.

On the other hand

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

who have great careers or lots of material achievements but lack a circle of close friends and loving family always have

emptiness

Add an article

an emptiness

show examples

inside them.

For example

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, numerous well-known celebrities around the world share that they are looking for human beings who truly love and care for them because they cannot live

happy

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a happy

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life

Use synonyms

without

such

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

around them even if they are prosperous.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, human beings are ready to pay any price to buy

happiness

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although

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they cannot buy

this

Linking Words

qualitative thing with their money.

This

Linking Words

confirms that how

much

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apply

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momentous is the presence of companies or loving partners for the

happiness

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of rich and successful individuals. In conclusion, individuals who are in constant touch with their family and social network live

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blissful

life

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. Only materials or a high position does not give satisfaction to

people

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Therefore

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, I strongly recommend that we need

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apply

show examples

close contact with our relatives and parents to live with

happiness

Use synonyms

Submitted by dilliupt on Wed Dec 29 2021

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The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

Dear + name
Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

322 words

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To achieve personal happiness, the relationships we have with other people (friends, colleagues, family) are more essential than every other thing. Issues like wealth and occupations take the second place. Write to support this claim.

The Greeting

here are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce. Among them, money is the most important factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Smoking is not only harm to smoker but also those who are near by.Therefore smoking should banned in public places. To what extend do you agree or disagree

In many Western countries there is an increasing number of couples choosing to have no children for study what are the advantages and disadvantages to couples having no children?

In most countries, despite the benefits of cycling, fewer and fewer people are using bicycles as a means of transportation Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?