The pie charts below show units of eletricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Summarise the information by selectiong and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

On the pie

charts

Add a comma

,charts

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase On the pie charts. Consider adding a comma.

show examples

we can see different

units

of electricity by fuel source in

Australia

and

France

in 1980 and 2000. There are four different charts sorted by country and

year

. In the

year

Change preposition

apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples

1980, the total production was 100

units

Australia

meanwhile

Add a comma

,meanwhile

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase meanwhile. Consider adding a comma.

show examples

it was only 90

units

France

. To the

year

Change preposition

apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples

2000, these

units

changed and increased to 170 in

Australia

, and 180

units

France

. On one hand, in 1980, in

Australia

the

Correct article usage

apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples

half of the total

units

was

Change the verb form

were

The verb was does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples

Coal, meanwhile in

France

Coal was only 25

units

in the same

year

On the other hand

, electricity production by fuel source changed a lot by the

year

2000, because

units

of Coal went up sharply, to 130

units

Australia

Nevertheless

, there was an upward trend in

France

too, but in Nuclear Power, which type of fuel source

Australia

had never used.

However

, it was 126

units

France

in 2000.

Submitted by pannikazsmer on Tue Jan 04 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Need a higher score on IELTS Writing?

After you write your essay, you will be provided with tips with examples of how to make your essay better in order to get a score above 7.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Include an introduction and conclusion

Support main points with an explanation and then an example

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical resource: 5.0

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms

Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 4.0

Answer all parts of the question

Present and fully explain ideas

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Word Count

Become Premium

Check as many essays as you want
Analyze highlighted mistakes
Use the built-in grammar checker
Discover your weaknesses
Get suggestions to get a higher score
Browse the history of checked essays
14-day money back guarantee

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people believe that to give opportunities to the new generation companies should encourage high level employees who are older than 55 to retire. Do you agree or disagree?
According to some people, organizations should encourage their senior employees to retire early so that young people can have more job opportunities. In my opinion, this strategy might benefit young job aspirants; however, it will be detrimental for the company.
8
band
In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent (how much) do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is well-recognized that there is a growing number of patients who face many health issues caused by the excessive consumption of fast-food. While some individuals believe that it is so important for the government to impose a higher tax on junk food, others argue that this measure will not bring more effective benefits. In this essay, I will argue for the latter view.
4
band
Nowadays newspapers publish information about the private lives of individuals. Some people think the government should maintain certain control over the information that gets published, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
At the outset of the new millennium, gazettes make public data about the personal lives of the folk. On this basis, an intelligent question to raise is why should government either limit or monitor personal information which are published by newspapers? If we flip the coin of contrasting ideas, which side will substantiate itself first?
5.5
band
F.Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level.
It is often argued that equal importance are given to core subjects, such as maths and science and traditional subjects, particularly at the early level of education. This essay agrees with this viewpoint because of the benefits it brings to students. Firstly, this essay will discuss why learning arts is crucial at primary level and how these social skills are valued later in their life.
8
band
International travel is becoming cheaper, and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourists. Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh its disadvantages?
Travelling has been an essential part of human being's life for centuries, either it is for trading or for entertainment purposes people like to go to different countries around the globe. These days visiting another nation has become so easy and inexpensive due to the aviation industry. Although some people think that travelling is not advantageous, but I think it is beneficial for the tourists and the country they are travelling to.

Type your essay and get a band score instantly

After you write your essay, you will be provided with tips with examples of how to make your essay better in order to get a score above 7.

The pie charts below show units of eletricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Summarise the information by selectiong and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that to give opportunities to the new generation companies should encourage high level employees who are older than 55 to retire. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent (how much) do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Nowadays newspapers publish information about the private lives of individuals. Some people think the government should maintain certain control over the information that gets published, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

F.Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level.

International travel is becoming cheaper, and countries are opening their doors to more and more tourists. Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh its disadvantages?