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Writing Samples
Band 4

The pie charts below show units of eletricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Summarise the information by selectiong and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show units of eletricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Summarise the information by selectiong and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the pie
charts
Add a comma
,charts
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 we can see different
units
Use synonyms
 of electricity by fuel source in
Australia
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 and
France
Use synonyms
 in 1980 and 2000. There are four different charts sorted by country and
year
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. In the
year
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of
Change preposition
apply
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1980, the total production was 100
units
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 in
Australia
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,
meanwhile
Add a comma
,meanwhile
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 it was only 90
units
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 in
France
Use synonyms
.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the
year
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2000, these
units
Use synonyms
 changed and increased to 170 in
Australia
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, and 180
units
Use synonyms
 in
France
Use synonyms
. On one hand, in 1980, in
Australia
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of the total
units
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was
Change the verb form
were
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 Coal, meanwhile in
France
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 Coal was only 25
units
Use synonyms
 in the same
year
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, electricity production by fuel source changed a lot by the
year
Use synonyms
 2000, because
units
Use synonyms
 of Coal went up sharply, to 130
units
Use synonyms
 in
Australia
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.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, there was an upward trend in
France
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 too, but in Nuclear Power, which type of fuel source
Australia
Use synonyms
 had never used.
However
Linking Words
, it was 126
units
Use synonyms
 in
France
Use synonyms
 in 2000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words units, australia, france, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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